If Disney is to survive the apocalypse, someone is going to have to be Mickey Mouse. Go on. Put the mask on. It is your destiny. Give in to your hate. Feel the merchandising coursing through you. Hear the cries of 10 billion overweight tourists. Feel the power of the dark side.
Or just, you know, wear this thing on Halloween. Or to protect your lungs from Minnie’s farts. She may be a mini-mouse, but those farts are the farts of a 500 pound Scrooge McDuck!
If I had these Realistic Skull Garden Stones, I would just kneel over it with a brush, like I’m all Indiana Jones and just dug it up. Then my neighbor would be all like, “What ya got there?” and I’d be all like, “Shut Up Flanders! Meet the ex-wife. Guess I should have buried her deeper, but digging is hard work. And she was a big woman. Guess I better do it right this time. Anyway, get off my lawn!”
Then the SWAT team and I would have a nice laugh over lunch after they Swiss-cheese my house with bullets. I would casually mention the kilo of coke I planted “saw” in my neighbor’s car and how that’s an awfully nice house and car for someone who is unemployed. Good times. That’ll teach him to mind his own business.
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These zombie cookies look pretty grotesque thanks to some nice gory details. They may look rotten but they are actually sweet. Om nom nom! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!
Hey, why are all of my zombie cookies missing their heads?
Headshots! You’re welcome! Now you can eat them safely. I also bit the heads off of all of your goldfish crackers just to be safe. Enjoy your bag of tails and let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help maam!
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These pencil holders from Morgan’s Mutations will make your desk a terrifying place. But at least your pencils will be organized and stabbed into the heads of these grotesque monstrosities. The ones with the long tongues are especially scary. Get your number 2 pencils and your nightmares ready!
Use it to hold pencils, pens, anything that needs tidying up on your desk. It will also store and feed off of your fear, but I think that’s pretty obvious. These are great if you have a pen thief in the office. They won’t have the guts to reach for one now. You might even put a fake bitten off finger in there as a warning.
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This Michael Myers 8 GB Flash Drive is all about storing your data. As opposed to, you know, killing people in great numbers every Halloween. Come on Mike. Why ya gotta be like that? If someone ticks you off on Halloween, just egg their house. Throw some toilet paper in their tree. Put soap and shaving cream on their car. He’s always taking things too far.
Well, now he wants to make up for it by storing your images and songs and stuff in his little demented body. He’s about 2 inches tall and doubles as a key chain.
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