Tag: halloween

Twisty the Clown Hard Replica Mask

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american horror clown mask
This handmade Twisty The Clown mask will let you cosplay as that lovable serial killing kook from this year’s American Horror Story. Everybody’s like, “He’s just misunderstood…blah blah blah…Isn’t Jessica Lange just brilliant?”

Fun fact about Twisty. He earned his name in the bread factories of 1950s America, where he was responsible for tying the bag off with twist ties. During his early clown days he would make animals out of twist ties and hand them to little children who would prick their fingers and bleed, before ingesting them to create jobs for the local hospitals.
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Apron Of Flesh With Bonus Purse Of Flesh

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flesh apronHey, serial killers have to cook too. And nobody likes to stain their clothes. I’m not sure how many people had to die to make this flesh apron, but judging by the amount of eye-holes that I see, there are at least 7 extra people invited to dinner.

I hear ya. It needs an accessory just as fleshy. To flesh it out. You’re thinking, “It’s cool and all, but this outfit needs more skin in the game if I’m gonna buy it”. Well, you can also get a matching Flesh Purse. Now you are all set to host a dinner that your guests will never forget…And never leave.

Yeah, this is from the same Etsy seller that gave us the People Pot Pie, so we already know what’s on the menu.
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Handmade Tic Tac Skull Game

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tic tac toe skull gameThis handmade Tic Tac Toe game is pretty awesome. If you still find Tic Tac Toe to be a challenging game anyway. It has skulls on black and white bases for the Xs and Os. Tic Tac Toe was never my thing. I read the rules like 50 times and still couldn’t make any sense out of it.

I guess it’s a game for advanced gamers with years of experience. I’ll just stick to games I understand like Go Fish. The seller has several other versions of the game too.

Giant Inflatable Furry Black Cat

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giant black catMouse problem in your yard. Go for a nuclear solution and get this massive 8 foot inflatable cat. You will never see a mouse again! In fact, this giant cat will keep everything away from your yard. Maybe even trick or treaters. And that means more candy for you. I usually buy a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups and a bag of old lady candy. I keep the former for myself and give the latter out to all of the little ghouls and fools.

Haha. Suckers. Get the good stuff when you’re old enough to buy it yourself! That’s probably why the side of my house looks like a runny omelet and why my tree looks like a toilet paper dispenser from hell. It’s like the friggin’ Purge around here by like 8 o’clock.

Anyway, this giant and ferocious cat has a furry plush coat, glowing eyes, and an animated head that turns to look around. Get the furry version or a non-furry version. Video below.
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Jilted Bride Wedding Dress Halloween Costume

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jilted bride wedding dressIt’s a nice day for a…White Wedding. This Halloween, go trick or treating as a jilted bride, complete with plastic naked babies sewn all over it. It even has one baby desperately clinging to the end of the train. I’m pretty sure I watched a reality TV show with this premise.

If you wear this costume on Halloween this year, you know you’ll get a ton of candy just because you have all of those mouths to feed. Plus people will feel sorry for you since some guy knocked you up a million times and left you at the alter.

The seller wore this costume to a Halloween party and won the best dressed award. She says she was trying to impress the guy who is now her husband when they first met. No worries dude, I would have screamed and ran too.
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