Tag: halloween

Bird Footed Vodka Shot Glasses

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bird feet shot glassesBartender! I’ll have a shot of Vodka, but only if you can serve it on top of a chicken foot with strange magical symbols on it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the hell away from whoever made these shot glasses out of their feet. That’s why. Seems pretty obvious to me now.

Here are a set of 6 bird footed shot glasses. I wouldn’t recommend tracing those symbols with your finger. They seem all magical and dangerous. They come from Russia with love.

In mother Russia, you are not truly drunk until table filled with feet of bird!

The Walking Dead Night Light

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walking dead night light
It’s not just kids who are scared of the dark. Adults don’t like it either. Sure, we act all brave, but when you get up in the middle of the night for a pee, we all run as fast as we can back into bed, careful not to let the wife see you, because if she does you know she’s gonna call you a pansy again. So what? You screamed when you saw a spider. Okay, so you also fainted that one time when the mouse came out of the wall, but only because it was a smart mouse and brought it’s own chlorophyll to knock you out. Then when you explain she calls you stupid and asks if you meant chloroform? *Deep breath*

The point is, darkness is scary. So use this The Walking Dead Nightlight. Sure Zombies are scary too but darkness? Screw darkness.
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Skeleton Dog On Leash

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skeleton dog on a leash
This Skeleton Dog On a Leash is man’s best bony friend. Plus, he’s already been dug up from a pet cemetery and cleaned up, so you don’t have to dig all night in the moonlight.

He won’t shed, he won’t poop and he won’t bark. It’s the perfect dog for runway supermodels, since dogs always look like their owners. In this case all bones and thigh gaps everywhere.
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Life-Size Posable Corpse

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lifesize corpse
Please mother. Stop arguing with me. I will find a nice girl soon. You haven’t even touched your dinner. Not again mother! Why must you always fall out of your chair? You are so tense and stiff as a board. Yes, mother. Yes I will look for another victim today. Stop laughing. *Covers ears* Stop laughing at me! I’m a good boy! A good boy! Your good boy will bring home another victim and you’ll see.

2 months later…

I tricked you mother! You are now for sale on Etsy. Once they buy you I will never have to hear your nagging again! Besides, I need more time with dad. Even though all he does is drink. Now where is he hiding? Oh yeah. That’s right. Mom! Where’s the shovel?
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Giant Lobster Claws

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lobster claws
Everyone should have a pair of giant lobster claws. They make everyday things into awesome things. Think of the fun that you could have doing things like: Hitchhiking, gesturing with your claws as you give directions, trying to saw through rope with your pincers, opening beer bottles and more.

You are gonna be a crazy crustacean. A prized pincer. Also, your handshake will now be powerful and dangerous for other humans. Life just got a little more awesome. Your new name is Zoidberg!