Tag: mythical

Dragon Head Flats

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Dragon Head FlatsAside from being an awesome band name, Dragon Head Flats are these cool shoes with dragons on them. Also sounds like a place with dragon skulls everywhere. “Hey man, I’ll race ya at dragon head flats!” I am so there. Sadly, these shoes don’t breath fire so you ladies are just gonna have to settle for the old fashioned “kicking us in the balls” when we misbehave, which is a lot. Cuz I’ll probably piss you off with puns like:

Hey you are really draggin’ today. Are you the mother of dragons? Cool, cuz I wanna be the dad.

Stuff like that, cuz I’m what they call an arsehole in the UK and an A-hole everywhere else. Sweet dragons though. You need like dragon print leggings to go with these. See? I offered a good tip. I’m not a complete A-hole. More like a B-Hole cuz I was never an A student, unless I was saying, “Aaaa this sucks.” which it did.

Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper

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Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper
Celebrate anti-Christmas with this Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper. He’s half man, half goat, all action hero. Or something like that. On the eve of December 6th, known as Krampusnacht, he wanders the night, punishing bad children by beating them with a switch, then dragging them to his lair! Never got me though. I had my own stick! WHACK! Take that Krampus and don’t ever come back to my town! Okay, I lied. I got taken back to his lair.

Oh, is this your lair? Are all these your guitars? Sweet! Your like a regular Peter Krampton! Or an Eric Krampton Clapton!

Creatureplica Action Figures

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Creatureplica Action Figures
Are you crazy for cryptids? Insane for Sasquatch? Yowzer for the Yeti? Of course you are and so am I. That’s why I’m gonna collect all of these Creatureplica Action Figures. There’s the Louisiana Rougarou, Sasquatch, Himalayan Yeti and the HorrorHound! I’m collecting ’em and you should too. Then our moms can make a play-date and we can play with them.

I’ll bring my Leonard Nimoy doll and we can recreate a bunch of “In Search Of…” episodes.

I hope they add more, like the Jersey Devil and Mothman. Ohhhhh and the Chupacabra. I’ll be back later after I order a set.
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Special Edition Cryptids Figures

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Special Edition Cryptids Figures
Holy crazy Cryptids! These Special Edition Cryptids Figures are cast in black resin, faux-painted with powdered metal in a clear acrylic suspension, then given an antique paint wash. All so you can collect them on your shelf. You can choose from pewter or bronze finish. You get Bigfoot, Jersey Devil, Chupacabra and Mothman.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! They come with four double-sided Kollektor Kardz® with true-life information about each cryptid. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Crypt-tacular!

The Jersey Devil Statue

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The Jersey Devil Statue
I saw the Jersey Devil once and I never dated that high-haired, aqua-net infused, devourer of pasta and overly bronzed chick again. Thanks tinder. Thanks a whole lot. Gotta try another dating app. I hear good things about grinder, but I don’t know much about this tech stuff. I’m just a monkey typing away at the keys here, occasionally playing with my banana. Anyway, this The Jersey Devil Statue doesn’t come in bronze. Thank God!

It does come in red and- Oh hell, is that bronze? She didn’t see me. I don’t think she saw me. I blocked my face with my iPad. I think we’re good. That was close. Probably headed for a never ending pasta bowl somewhere. I’m outta here before she sees me.
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