Tag: odd

Let’s Make This Brief Underwear Notes

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Let’s Make This Brief Underwear Notes
Leave notes on a pair of underwear. Let’s make this brief Underwear Notes. People pay attention to a note on a pair of tightie whities. Other notes? They just crumple up and throw them away. Although I think they should have some yellow stains and look a little crusty. Maybe have some fried chicken grease. You know, just for realism. Maybe that’s just me. Perfect for notes like: PICK UP SOME UNDERWEAR! or CRAPPED MYSELF: JUST FYI or WE NEED MILK, DON”T BE A WIENER! then draw a picture of a wiener escaping the undies cuz you’re totally grown up, but it has to be done.

People always ask me, boxers or briefs? And I say I prefer my boxers in briefs, otherwise both fighters are gonna have two dangling arms hitting each other below the belt. I don’t really wanna see that. It’s already too much man on man action for me.

Horror Themed Hair Bows

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Freddy Krueger Hair bow
MJistheBOMB makes all sorts of hair bows, but the weirdest are these Horror Themed Hair Bows. You have Freddy Krueger, which I really wish was a bow tie, Chucky, Bride of Chucky and Frankenstein. So put some horror in your hair. They are perfect for Halloween or just every day.

I would suggest wearing them with a beehive hairdo with white streaks, like the Bride of Frankenstein. Just my own un-professional opinion. I like my hos with bows. Did I just say that? Not really. It was the meds. They do all the bad things. They also find all of this cool stuff for you, so you can’t be too hard on them. I’ll have a quiet word and put them to bed. Talk later.
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Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers: Catch The Tiger By The Tail

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Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers Catch The Tiger By The Tail
These Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers will finally let me live out my dream of catching a tiger by the tail. You do that with a real tiger and the tiger catches you by the hand and leaves ya with a bloody stump. Sadly, they aren’t my size. They’re for kids, who get all of the cool stuff. It really bums me out too, cuz my dream was to wear them while eating some Frosted Flakes. Mom would ask me if I liked my new shoes and I would shove my spoon hand in the air and yell, “THEY’RE GREAT!” then act like it never happened.

Oh well, you can’t live out all of your dreams. I feel like I’ve already accomplished a lot just by rising to the heights of “professional fat nerd blogger in underwear”. Wasn’t easy to get here either. Had to make a lot of sacrifices, like friends, love, thinness… Yeah, that’s why. Just leave it okay! I don’t want to talk about it. It IS NOT the Oreos! Anyway, a tiger doesn’t change his stripes. Well, not unless he has some spray paint.
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Victorian Vampire Evening Gloves

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Victorian Vampire Evening Gloves
Oh sexy. Nice gloves. Have you come to suck my blood and chew bubble gum and you’re all out of bubble gum? These Victorian Vampire Evening Gloves are super sexy. I said that already. Sorry. I get nervous and bashful around pale Victorian ladies. It’s also the first time I’ve had a crush on a pair of arms, so I’ll just practice my breathing and calm down. There, now I’m better.

Don’t be fooled by the name. These evening gloves can be worn in the day too. Well, assuming you can be exposed to sunlight anyway. The best thing about them? They fit like a glove. Probably made by Danny Glover. If you get into a fight, the gloves are off. They’re so nice you gotta handle them with kid gloves. Enough! I’m just nervous, that’s all. I joke when I’m nervous. I think I’m in glove.
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Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture

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Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box
This Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture looks like a photo captured of the beast in the wild. Is it more Cthulhu or more Sasquatch. I have no idea. Is it live or is it Memorex? Frankly, I can’t believe it’s not butter.

This thing looks like Chewbacca and Emperor Palpatine’s love child. I think his squatting in that grass is about more than just posing for the camera. I think he might be taking a huge steaming squatch. But I’m not Cthulhu/Bigfoot expert. I just think I see some of that foliage dying.