Tag: spooky

Gothic Graveyard Snowglobe

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Gothic Graveyard Snowglobe
Time to take a field trip kids. We’re going to a graveyard. A Gothic Graveyard Snowglobe! C’mon you didn’t think I was really gonna get up early and drive a bus full of whiny kids somewhere did ya? Hey, I bring the excitement to you. This snowglobe is the perfect spooky desk accessory. It’s a calm, spooky graveyard with a creepy gnarled tree. It looks like the whole damn town is buried in there. WTH? Must have been a natural disaster.

OR did I go on the field trip and crash that bus full of kids, and now I’m in a parallel reality? Makes you think. You see why I don’t take you guys anywhere? It’s much safer if I just show you cool stuff everyday. I think I’m buried right under the tree and you guys are fanning out from me. Feels crowded. Can my corpse get some damn elbow room for God’s sake?

Dracula And Coffin Statue

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Dracula And Coffin Statue
This Dracula And Coffin Statue is the perfect gift for the vampire that has everything. Because now he can have a statue that shows him doing his vampire thing. Sometimes he’s in the coffin taking a little nap like Naps-feratu, sometimes you can display him awake and just hanging out by the coffin. This gift might even make your blood-drinking friend realize how lame their life is.

Life is about more than just a coffin you know. Maybe set an alarm so you don’t sleep all day long. By the way, have you looked for a job this week? We’ve had this talk before. You are what? 3000 years old and sleeping all hours of the day, out all night and you can’t even be bothered to do your chores around the house? You better shape up old man!

Edgar Allan Pendant, I Mean Edgar Allan Poe

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Edgar Allan Pendant, I Mean Edgar Allan Poe
Have you ever seen a cooler Edgar Allan Poe Pendant? No you haven’t. Poe-lease! He was quite the ladies man so I’m sure he won’t mind nestling into your bosom as you go about your business, his head swinging around. What I’m saying is that your cleavage is the pit and he is the pendulum. Heh. That was just a little literary joke.

Is it just me or does he look like he belongs in the Addams family? I think I read somewhere that he is a member of the Addams family, but they left him in the Lurch! Still, that’s better than being left to Fester! Ha. I crack myself up. And thanks to the safety of the internet, you can’t throw rotten vegetables at me. I win again!

Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes

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Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes
This Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes will watch you like one of those paintings where the eyes seem to move. Stop looking at me Franky! The eyes can be any color LED lights you want. Trust me, it doesn’t matter what color you choose, it’s all gonna look creepy. I want to ask you something Dr. Frankenstein. Were those bolts on the side of the head really necessary? Are they holding up the foundation? Connected to load-bearing muscle mass or something? I really think you could have found an alternative to just using huge ass bolts. But what do I know? I don’t make monsters. I just marry them.

What? You thought that was a crack about my wife? I’ll have you know, I am an ordained minister and I work in Transylvania.
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Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial

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Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial
WTF?! Hey you guys aren’t supposed to come until the dead of night. I thought we had a deal. Who’s your green friend? The alien Hulk? No, let me guess, he just gets UFO sick and spends the whole trip puking and turning green. What? Your supervisor? What’s he doing here? Checking out your prostate probing productivity? A trip P evaluation then. Hey Greenie, you ain’t the boss of me. Him yeah. Not me. HAhahahaha. That picture makes it look like someone yanked your UFO hat off your head.

OW! You really forced me down there. Oh, we’re starting already? Just lasered my pants right off huh. Well, I hope your supe gives you a good evaluation.

This Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial also comes in green. One is the boss, the other the lackey. Two and a half feet tall. Life-sized!