Are you ready for a Rubik’s Cube from Hell? *Crowd goes wild.* I said… Are you ready for a Rubik’s Cube from Hell? *Crowd loses their mind.* Well, check out the Hellraiser Puzzle Cube! Brought to you by the H-E-double hockey stick raiser! Solve it or don’t. Either way you are going to hell. Not sure if that will be in a hand basket or if you need to take a highway. Have to check on that. Really, this puzzle is hard as hell.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Heart Anatomy Coasters
When people come to my house and have a drink, I break out these sweet Heart Anatomy Coasters and I start singing, all like, “I’m gonna harden my heart. I’m gonna swallow my tears. Gonna turn and le-heave yo-hoo here ah ah.” Then I put the Yoo-hoo on the coaster, cuz I’m all about avoiding spillage.
Sometimes I’ll be all like “Don’t go breakin’ my heart.” And then they’ll be all like, “I couldn’t if I tried.” Then I’m like, “Honey if I get restless…” And they answer, “Baby you’re not that type.” And they’re right, so we just leave it at that.
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Licki Brush Lets You Lick Your Cat Back
The Licki Brush. What’s weird about this? Doesn’t everybody put a fake tongue in their mouth to lick their cat? I know if I don’t lick my cat at least once a day, she gets ticked off. What? Oh, okay. Let’s just get all of the p**** licking jokes out of the way. Are you done yet? *Sigh* So immature.
Anyway, you have to use this device to lick your cat, cuz otherwise you get hairballs. And a human hacking up hairballs is a nasty sight. Trust me on that one my friends. Not that I’ve ever used a similar device. I just heard things. What are you trying to imply? Look, I ain’t no dirty cat licker! Thems fightin’ words. Put up your dukes. I’m gonna- *ACK….ACK…COUGH* Now that that’s out of my system, and all over your floor, come at me bro!
Video that you can never unsee below.
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Deer Skull Necklace
You are going to get a lot of compliments when you wear this Deer Skull Necklace. Here are just some of the things you’ll hear:
Deer God, that’s a nice necklace.
Be a dear and- Oh my, you have a deer around your neck.
Where ya from? Deerborn, Michigan?
Who are you? The Deery Queen? Can I get a Blizzard?
Well kiss my deery-air, are those antlers?
Dear, can you fetch my deer necklace?(You to your husband)
Nice antlers btw.
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Custom Pet Skull Portraits
If you want to see what your pet looks like on the inside, commission one of these Custom Pet Skull Portraits. Or you could do like I did and get an X-ray of your pet, spend like two hours collaging the X-ray and the picture together with staples, glue, moist tic-tacs, duct tape and thumb tacks. Do not recommend. Unless you want your animal looking like a reanimated mutant freak.
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