Etsy seller Boxartig is selling this cool Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama which comes in a fancy can. Pretty neat. If you want to relive some scenes from the classic show, it beats hiring a dwarf and pumping him full of acid so he dances around, snapping his fingers while talking backwards.
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Leaf-it! Leaf Sticky Notes
These Leaf-it! Leaf Sticky Notes look just like real leaves. You know, the kind that grow on trees. Outside. You’ve probably seen pictures on the internet. Trust me, they exist. They aren’t just places for Keebler elves to make cookies.
These Leaf-it sticky notes are so real looking, I don’t recommend them for people who live in the woods. (Again, look it up on the internet. It’s a magical place full of the previously mentioned trees.) You’ll spend all day just looking for your to-do list because some squirrel ran off with it and is now using it as bedding.
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What The Cluck?: Mask Made Of Chicken Skin
Damn, that’s nasty. Do you want chicken face? Well, you can have chicken face. With this freaky chicken skin mask, you can freak everyone the hell out! Especially chickens. I’m way behind on my TV viewing. Is this from the latest American Horror Story? Cause that one involves a chicken masked serial killer this year right? I’ll check on that.
Anyway, this nightmare inducing mask is made of actual chicken skin and will fit “a small framed woman’s face”. Sorry large guys, you’ll have to find your serial killer creeper mask elsewhere. Damn, that’s nasty. Plus, you wasted the tastiest part of fried chicken.
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Roach covered Bustier: Your Trailer Park Wedding Is Complete
This roach covered bustier is perfect for Halloween. If you already have a roach problem then you probably already own some clothing that looks like this. It’s also great for Trailer Park weddings, whether there’s a shotgun involved or not.
Very appropriate if both roaches and marriage make your skin crawl. Me? I’m total marriage material. That material just happens to be covered in roaches like this bustier.
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Oh Deer: Whitetail Deer Thermometer
How do you know when it’s cold outside? Apparently, when you check the temperature on a thermometer that’s sticking out of a deer’s rectum. Makes sense to me. I mean, why check the temp on my iPhone when I can look at a deer’s ass?
Alright, it’s not really mounted in the rectum. You are just getting a deer tail mounted upright so that it looks like a deer is getting it’s temperature taken. It’s either that or an un-decorated redneck Christmas tree.