Nothing says love like putting a giant cathedral on her finger. Plus, now your betrothed can punch a fancy church right through your eye socket when she catches you cheating. This thing even has gargoyles and a skull. It probably even has a little priest that comes out and blesses you every hour.
It will cost you $6,500.00 from Etsy seller MetalCoutureJewelry, but it will be bigger than anything her friends are wearing.
More images below.
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You’ll find all kinds of strange and bizarre creatures in Etsy seller netherworldoddities’ shop, but this cute and weird extraterrestrial is special. I’m pretty sure he will grant you three wishes, before laughing maniacally and disappearing in a puff of smoke that smells like a fart, which is this tricksters final gift to you.
First I would be all like, “Look, give me unlimited wishes and I will wish for some legs for your little Jabba The Hutt body. Are you with me here? Or do you want to crawl around like a slug all your life?” You have to know how to handle these Genie types. Of course, I would give him “table legs”, which are pretty useless. No Genie is getting one over on me! Not after last time. *Peers out the curtain, watching all the male deer graze on my front lawn…my neighbors lawn…his neighbor’s lawn…and everywhere* Stupid literal Genie, giving me the million bucks I asked for!
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He’s dirty. He’s crawling around on all fours in his pajamas, with a bone in his mouth. This is one ugly ceramic figurine. It even has some real hair on it’s head for that extra creep factor. Somewhere in the world, the lucky buyer is screaming “It puts the lotion on!” at their china cabinet.
It’s never too early to get your kid into art. You might as well start when they are in the womb, by painting weird and creepy scenes on that baby bump. That kid isn’t doing anything now aside from hurting your back and robbing you of precious minerals. Might as well make a weird statement on that belly, so you can embarrass them with pictures later in life. You can find the Belly painting kit here.
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Etsy seller DCATX sells all kinds of authentic looking Zombie costumes like the one above, if you have the urge to dress like an undead half-rotted corpse. You could probably create one of these yourself by blowing yourself up Bugs Bunny style, but this is much safer.
The details look spot on. He probably just dips the clothes into his piranha tank. Probably has a hook for a hand too. Maybe two if he didn’t learn from the first time.
More shots below.
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