Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Raven Chandelier

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

Raven Chandelier
Nevermore. Nevermore. *Looks up at my Raven chandelier.* Shut up already, I’m trying to eat dinner. I’m raven-ous here. Geesh. Sorry, did I ruffle your feathers? *Sarcastic.* That’s soooo raven! What the- Nice. Poop all over me and my dinner. Great. I knew I should have stuck with traditional decor. Nice. Shake your tail feathers after. Did that feel good?

This cool and slightly creepy piece of raven lighting features birds with a 36″ wingspan. Will it be dark in the room? Nevermore. Will you want to eat under this thing? Nevermore.

Don’t Cuddle The Krampus

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

Don’t Cuddle The Krampus
Parents use the myth of Krampus to make their kids behave around Christmas time, but what if this creature was cute and cuddly? Warpo aims to make Krampus a creature that kids can love with their “Don’t Cuddle The Krampus” Kickstarter.

Krampus comes with 3 naughty kids, which you can help him to hunt down and put in his bag. That’s what he did back in the old days. He put kids in bags, beat ’em up real good and tossed them in a lake or something. You are basically teaching kids to become this mythic creature themselves. Sure. Let’s make all of our kids evil while doing Krampus’ job for him. He probably started this kickstarter himself just so he could be lazy and get some time off. That kind of thinking is why he’s my hero.

Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set

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Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set
Is there anything more appetizing than a slimy Facehugger attaching itself to your face and giving you a big hug? Of course not. That’s why you need this Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set. Your hors d’oeuvres will taste so much better when dangling under an alien killer.

Okay, how many of you said “whores de-vores” in your head and giggled? Me too. Now let’s serve up some tiny weenies and cheese cubes cuz food is the best facehugger ever.

Gold Gilded Bat Necklace

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Gold Gilded Bat Necklace
Sweet! A Gold Gilded Bat Necklace. I’ve read all of the folklore, researched every legend surrounding this artifact. Now it’s mine. *Moves my hands like Indy trying to judge the weight of the golden idol.* OW! Damnit! Hurt my hand reaching into the screen, trying to snatch it.

Seriously though, the legend of the Gold Gilded Bat Necklace goes way back to Bab-Bologna-ian times. It was first worn by Bertha Batty Butt, bat-nosed Queen of a long forgotten dynasty. She ruled with an iron fist, a big butt and an army of bats, who also had big butts. It impaired flight. Probably why her rule was so short.

See, it’s not always about me being stupid. Sometimes you learn stuff.

Cute And Creepy: Little Winter Bats

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Cute And Creepy Little Winter Bats
Winter Bats wear winter hats and like to terrorize winter cats. I think I heard that somewhere. Anyway, it’s time to prepare for winter. Do you have your winter boots? Winter hat? Winter Bat? I guess you’re all set. Unlike me who always waits until December to get my winter bats and then they are always sold out. I feel like a real idiot too, walking in the snow while everyone else’s winter bats hold up their scarfs by the ends like birds flapping around Cinderella. Me? My scarf just hangs there. *Sad face.*

Why the sad face? You could order one right now.

Hmmmm… Nah. I got time.