Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Create Your Own Zombie Action Figure Customizing Kit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Create Your Own Zombie Action Figure Customizing Kit
How do you create a zombie? (Fun behind the scenes fact. I originally typed “Hoe do you create a zombie? and pictured a pimp shakin’ his cane at her as he said it all interrogation-like. I giggled. Good times. You best not be creatin’ no zombies hoe!) Anyway, where was I? ADD is like a maze wrapped inside a riddle and covered in a sweet enigma caramel shell. Oh yeah. Making your own zombies.

You see my child, when a filthy and rabid zombie loves your brain very very much, he bites you. That is how zombies are created. Now go to sleep and stop complaining about nightmares.

Or you can just buy this Create Your Own Zombie Action Figure Customizing Kit and make some yourself. On the other hand, the government used to create them with TV broadcasts.

Creature from the Black Lagoon Action Figure

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creature from the Black Lagoon Action Figure
This is the Creature from the Black Lagoon Action Figure that I’ve always wanted. One thing I never understood. Why is his lagoon black? Oil spill? I have no idea. I’m gonna get this guy and call him Gill. *Crickets* Get it? Gill? He’s got gills. *Silence* Tough room. Well, not that tough. I think I could take you all in a fight. If I was allowed to run home first and work out for like 2 years straight and come back.

Roses are red,
violets are maroon.(Color blind here.)
You always have to clean your carpet,
If your guest is the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Creature Eyes Lollipops

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creature Eyes Lollipops
These Creature Eyes Lollipops are scary delicious. I see an eye of newt, an eye of Sauron, an eye of the tiger(Gotta work hard to suck that one all the way down. Bonus joke: That’s what she said!) and an eye of horus.

All in favor say eye. *Slams eye lollipop gavel down hard.* The eyes have it. This meeting is adjourned. No wonder we never get anything done.
Read more “Creature Eyes Lollipops”

Octopus Door Handle

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Octopus Door Handle
I would never stop opening the door if I had this Octopus Door Handle. *Takes it’s tentacle in my hand.* How do you do Cthulhu? You’ve got a great grip son. You are really going places. Probably to the bottom of the ocean, so you can drag me down and suffocate me. It’s cool. Do what ya gotta do. I’m not letting go.

I would also make it all sticky and slimy so people who enter my home get the full Octo-experience when shaking tentacles with a beast from the depths. Octo-experience! Welcome! You’ve been slimed. Now you get to see the suckers that live here. Get it? Suckers?
Read more “Octopus Door Handle”

Tombstone Magnets

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Tombstone Magnets
Check out these cool tombstone magnets. I hope they add Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday! Pew! Pew! Pew! Gunfights are cool.

Wrong tombstone dumbass!

Ohhhhhhh. That kind of tombstone. Yeah, that’s cool too.

Whatever idiot! Anyway, what do you want on your tombstone?

I’ll have pepperoni and extra cheese! *Shouts* Tombstone pizza Pierre!