Category: Just Plain Weird

Missing Monster Stickers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Missing Monster Stickers
Have you seen these monsters? Me either. The monsters are disappearing. Maybe they were abducted by monster hunters. You can help spread the word with these cool Missing Monster Stickers. Eh. They’re probably all at the same bar, doing the Monster Mash, which to this day is still a graveyard smash. In case you were wondering. I hope they find these guys so they can get back to work making movies and stuff.

*Shows the missing poster to cashier at local store.* Yes, that’s very funny. Point to me. I’m the monster. I’ve never heard that one before.
Read more “Missing Monster Stickers”

Tombstone Herb Garden Markers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Tombstone Herb Garden Markers
Make your herb garden look like a cemetery with these Tombstone Herb Garden Markers. I made a little poem about them: Here lies Rosemary, here lies Thyme, buried them both and got away with my crime. Yeah, that’s not very good. Besides, I would never hurt herbs. I’ve never committed herbicide in my life. These markers will give all of your garden critters the heebie-jeebies. Maybe the herbie-jeebies too.
Read more “Tombstone Herb Garden Markers”

Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides
What happens if you put an “elf on the shelf” on a Coffin Shelf? You get a dead elf on a shelf. But that’s beside the point. This Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides is great for your haunted horror home decor. I’m putting things on it that I want to take with me when I die. If it’s on the shelf, everybody knows I get buried with it. Right now I have a few bags of M & M s and some Kit-Kats on the top shelf. Basically, I’m buying two so they can just throw me in, slap them both together and I’ll have all my stuff. You gotta think ahead.

August Body Mirror With Skull

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

August Body Mirror With Skull

This August Body Mirror With Skull is a tall mirror. Why you can only use it in August, I have no idea. But I’m a rebel. A rule breaker. I will use the s**t out of this mirror in July! Maybe in June too. What do you think about that? BAM! That’s what’s up!

If you like skull decor, this mirror will make sure that there’s always a skull looking at you while you ask if you are too fat. And compared to him you will be. He’s all bones. *sigh* I need positive reinforcement. I also need some waist reinforcement. Time for a new belt! I think I’m gonna need a wider mirror too.

Alien Coasters Abduct Stains From Your Surfaces

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Alien Coasters Abduct Stains From Your Surfaces
The truth is out there. No, really. Everyone knows. And the truth is that your counters and surfaces are nasty. Is that a pool of bright neon glue on your table or year old Mountain Dew? Also, there appears to be a fly stuck in amber on your coffee table. That amber looks a lot like spilled-beer build-up.

Anyhow, ya gotta love that title I put on this post. Alien Coasters Abduct Stains From Your Surfaces. Do I mean furniture or the surfaces of my body, since I just spilled soda all over my shirt? I have no idea. Basically a monkey could run this blog and sometimes he does when I’m passed out in front of the TV with a mouthful of Cheetos and Netflix asking if I’m still watching. Is he any good? Depends. I mean he needs some. He’s really good at leaving s**t in my chair and drawing on my face with sharpie. But he does use a coaster.