Category: Just Plain Weird

City Morgue Body Bag Sleeping Bag

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morgue sleeping bag
Sleep like the dead in this city morgue sleeping bag.

What happened here lieutenant? I’m not sure sir. Witnesses say he was dead tired and just collapsed and wrapped this body bag around himself. Hmmm. Sounds like another blogger all hopped up on Monster energy drinks and cheetos. It might be that Creepbay guy again. You keep this crime scene clean. I’m gonna talk to forensics and see what they think. He may just be sleeping, but I don’t wanna touch him. Dead bodies are icky! Until I know for sure, nobody gets in or out.
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Fly And Bug Buddy Purse: Livin’ La Vida Larva

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superfly purseWhat’s all the buzz about this season in fashion? Not those rain boots and hairy legs stockings that Walmart shoppers are rocking this week, that’s for sure. It’s all about accessorizing. If you wanna look fly, you gotta start with maggots and work your way up to full fledged flying pest.

This Fly And Bug Buddy Purse is superfly. Store it in your closet by throwing it on a flystrip.

Blackout Doombox Delivers Monster Beats

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doomboxThis $90 Doombox Boombox will definitely eat your cassette tapes. Just ask the seller, who says that it is radio only. The cassette player doesn’t work. Probably because he punched it in the mouth after it ate his favorite Journey tape. Same thing happened to me in the 80s. Don’t stop believing my ass! It’s hard to hold on to that feeling when your boombox betrays you.

The seller also has a Doombox Sony Watchman Portable TV(Pictured below) for $60 if you like to watch sitcoms framed in monster teeth.
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Predator Paintball Mask: Get To Da Choppa!

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Predator Paintball MaskThis custom Predator Paintball mask immediately makes you the target if you play in my paintball games. Don’t get all creative and start making Predator noises either because someone will take you down. So what? You can cloak and become invisible. I’m just gonna put mud all over myself and arm a nuke so you can’t see me. How ya like me now? We Earthlings bite back! No easy prey here!

Just gonna lay in the mud and wait. Then when he’s close and almost walking over me, I’m gonna rise up and go all Sherwin-Williams on his preda-testicles. How you like that? You like getting a crotch full of paint?

*gets huge knife out as the dude takes the mask off* Hey man, wtf!!! It’s me! Your buddy!

Oh thank God you’re here. You aren’t going to believe this, but there was just a- Where did that Predator go?

*Other buddy walks up* You know not to confuse him. He still thinks Superman and Clark Kent are two different people!

I don’t know what you guys are talking about, but I have a Predator to kill. *Shakes head as I walk away* Only my idiot friends would think that Supes and Clark are the same guy. Anyway, looks like I’m on my own in this fight. Where are you, you ugly Spider-Faced freak? Show yourself!
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Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit

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pet zombie garden kitI always wanted to grow my own zombie. Now I can thanks to this Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit. I can’t wait to grow him real big and cut off his head! Why else ya gonna grow a zombie? It’s all about practice for the zombie apocalypse.

Growing a zombie has gotta work out better than that time I bought that Batman figure that was supposed to grow six times it’s size. I took it out of the package and waited. Nothing. DID NOT grow. Just stood there being a weenie sized Batman. So I got pissed off and flushed it down the toilet.

Big mistake. Two hours later I hear this gurgling and groaning sound like two epic foes are fighting deep inside the pipes. Next thing you know the toilet explodes and Batman bursts out, all intertwined with Clayface as they battle.

Long story short, that was poo, not Clayface. And I really should read instructions. *Facepalm* He grows in Water! That’s how I acquired my limited edition poo armored Batman figure with authentic Gotham sewer scent.
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