Check out these awesome Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones. I’ll get the white one and you get the red one, then we’ll be in rival skeleton gangs. I’ll call my gang the Fractured Tibias and you can call yours the Raging Red Skulls. I’ll always lose cuz my bones are brittle, but I promise I’ll always put up a good fight. I’m scrappy like that. SCRAPPY. Man, I’m getting pumped! Did you just flash gang signs at me? Oh, cool. Respect my bony brotha from anotha skeleton motha. We all good!
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Tag: cool
Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace
All of the women in my life are Scorpios. How do I know? Because they always sting my heart and pinch it with their claw hands. Well, it was understandable in that one case. She had a deformity. All Scorpios should wear this Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace so I can see them coming. That is one bad ass train of scorpions, all lead by the Scorpion queen herself, following the trail of tears that is the path to my heart. Great, now I’m depressed. I guess I have to pay more attention to the zodiac signs. See who I’m compatible with. Not that that ever works out.
Hey baby, what sign are you?
I’m a Sagittarius. What’s your sign? Baby on Board? *Points to my fat belly*
*Sigh.* Heh. Good one. I thought you were a cancer. You know, because of that mole. You should get that checked out. *Walks away*
Guess that showed her.
Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals
MetalSomeArt sells some awesome leather bound journals. Heh. Leather bound. Sounds kinky. 50 Shades of Paper. Get it? Anyway, they have many cool journals to choose from. Cthulhu, Tarot Cards, all kinds of cool stuff. They have awesome brass plates in front. That’s what makes ’em look so fancy. So shiny. I’m gonna get one so I can write down my deepest innermost thoughts.
*Opens journal. Starts to write.* Hmmm. Nothing’s coming to me. Damn writer’s block. I hate that. Why you blockin’ me bro? What do you have against writers and why are you invisible? Silence huh? Well, nobody blocks me you blockhead. I’ll just journal about you.
Dear Diary. Today writer’s block tried to block me from your crisp white pages. But I don’t let bullies win. He’s a poopy pants which is why this entry sounds like a 2 year old rather than being in my usual 4 year old style. I hate that guy. Always blocking. Always lurking. P.S. I like your brass plate on your cover. So shiny and pretty. I like to touch it. Will you be my girlfriend? K bye.
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Octopus Gamer Print
This Octopus has game! He’s kickin’ it old school playing Nintendo. This Octopus Gamer Print will help you to remember that Octopus are cool and also that they will kick your butt in a game of Super Mario Bros. That’s probably because they squirt ink in your face every time you get the high score. I hate it when they do that. That’s why Octopi are my gaming enemies.
Octopus,
Octopi,
You spit ink into the wrong effin eye.
I’ll beat you fair,
I’ll beat you square.
I’ll beat you in my underwear.
I challenge you to Mario Karts,
Let’s see if you can withstand my gamer farts.
For I have Cheetos,
And I have Mountain Dew.
Now the very air, it smells like poo.
You have passed out and I have the high score.
I celebrate and show you the door.
I bid you good day you tentacled freak,
Now back inside to sit in my reek.
I said Good Day sir!
Shimmering Hologram Mermaid Tail Skirt
Well call me Aquaman and slap me with your mermaid tail, you have one fine set of fish fins. No, don’t really slap me. I hate getting slapped with fish. It happens more often than you might think. This Shimmering Hologram Mermaid Tail Skirt is all kinds of sexy. Say, why are mermaids never actually maids? You never see Ariel cleaning up the house, dusting all the knick-knacks and doing laundry, having to hop in the shower or the kiddie pool every 15 minutes to keep her mermaid skin wet.
I’m gonna start a mer-maid service and get a whole stable of mermaids to clean rich people’s houses. What’s the name for a whole group of them? A gaggle? Heh. More like a waggle, judging by the way they sway their hips when they swim. A maraude. That’s it. A maraude of mermaids. A mess. A masquerade. A mirage. See, now I’m just grasping at scales, which usually ends with a mer-tail slapping my face. Which I usually deserve.