Tag: decor

Life Sized Cyclops Skull

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cyclops skull
This Cyclops Skull is perfect for your desk. You could put like an 8-ball in the eye socket or give him a cool visor that turns him into Cyclops from the X-Men. Who is not a real cyclops by the way. He has two eyes. He just burns the s**t out of everything he looks at.

This bad boy is limited to 100 pieces. All with one eye socket and surprisingly well preserved teeth. Ever since he lost his eye he’s been a real sigh-clops. Ha ha ha.

Get two. Call them Jack. Put them on the top shelf. Now you have a pair of one-eyed jacks. Faces high! I slay me.

Where does a Cyclops go to get prescription lenses for his monocle? The Clop-tometrist. Ha ha ha.

Booze booze everywhere. Tired now. Sleepy time.
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These Vintage Doll Planters Are Totally Creepy

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creepy doll planter
Is that a Cthulhu parasite hatching out of that doll’s head? Nah. Well maybe. It’s a plant. And it’s a good reminder that plants can kill. These terrifying planters come from Etsy seller EarthSeaWarrior, who likes to make creepy things protrude from bodies.

You can find all kinds of creeptastic doll planters in their shop. I hope they use a life-sized mannequin next just so I can call it Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo With Cthulu. Check out some bonus shots below of a headless flapper with a Cthulhu-Rhoid and a poo faced doll baby sucking it’s own tentacles.
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The Walking Dead Night Light

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

walking dead night light
It’s not just kids who are scared of the dark. Adults don’t like it either. Sure, we act all brave, but when you get up in the middle of the night for a pee, we all run as fast as we can back into bed, careful not to let the wife see you, because if she does you know she’s gonna call you a pansy again. So what? You screamed when you saw a spider. Okay, so you also fainted that one time when the mouse came out of the wall, but only because it was a smart mouse and brought it’s own chlorophyll to knock you out. Then when you explain she calls you stupid and asks if you meant chloroform? *Deep breath*

The point is, darkness is scary. So use this The Walking Dead Nightlight. Sure Zombies are scary too but darkness? Screw darkness.
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Mancave Wreath With Antlers, Toilet Paper Holder, Beer Cans, Rifle Shells

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

man cave wreath
This Mancave Wreath With Antler Toilet Paper Holder, Beer Cans, Rifle Shells was obviously created in a trailer in the woods one night with The Dukes of Hazzard or Duck Dynasty playing in the background as a couple of guys debate how hot Paula Dean is and argue about who shot some squirrel and who gets to eat it.

I’m pretty sure.

Headless Teddy Bear Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

teddy bear lampThis is the latest in decapitated teddy bear decor for your kids room. It connects via USB with plug adapters and gives off a soft warm glow that is sure to give your little one nightmares.

Every night your little bundle of nerves will wake up screaming and you will rush in the room to find a new decapitated stuffed animal from his collection. You’ll ask him about it and he will tell you from trembling lips that they are the nightly sacrifice that his master demands. And that he is down to only one stuffed animal left on the shelf…

I should know. That boy was me. Still have that lamp. It’s why I buy stuffed animals in bulk. It’s also why my backyard is full of stuffed torsos with no heads.
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