Tag: ebay

Miniature Wooden Alien Cow Abduction UFO Scene

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ufo cow abductionThis hand carved miniature Alien Cow Abduction scene by artist David T. Arber Jr. is the perfect toy for kids or adults who like to re-enact scenes of cow abduction. It recently sold for $112.50 on Ebay.

If only E.T. just wanted to phone home. The real world is more complicated and terrifying than that. E.T. wants to abduct humans and cows, playing strange games with their bungholes. It’s because they made a deal with our government. Their technology in exchange for being Earth’s premiere proctologists.

Now if you will excuse me, my tin foil hat is picking up some transmissions from a nearby star. I have to send a signal back. EARTH TO ET. COME IN ET. THIS BACKSIDE IS A-OKAY. NO NEED FOR AN EXAM. I REPEAT, NO NEED FOR EXAM. STAND BY FOR NEW TARGET NAME. GEORGE LUCAS. I REPEAT, GEORGE LUCAS.
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Bizarre Two Headed Mummy

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twin terrorsThis monstrosity looks like every annoying teen duo that you have ever seen at the mall, just gabbing away at each other’s faces like sugar-fueled little rottweilers barking things like “OMG”, “I know, right!”, “That was so totes brill Bethany!”, and other stupid things at each other. These terror twins just have more rotted skin and yet are less emaciated than the mall rat variety. They are also much smarter and less likely to get hit by a bus while checking a text, saying, “OMG guys! It’s from Brad!”

These two are BFFs, literally. Connected for all time. They look just as shallow as mall vermin, but they won’t run their gobs non-stop at you. It only looks like they are talking each other’s decaying heads off. Only $625 on Ebay.

One more shot below.
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Oil Painting Of A Monkey Man In His Natural Habitat

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monkey manThis oil painting on canvas is only $169.90 on Ebay. He’s just chillin’. Waiting on some bananas. Looking kinda sad because he has no monkey man buddies to fling his poo at/with.

I want to pet him, but I know I would just get Monkey Man rabies. And I really don’t trust anything that resembles Richard Gere.

Attention Deficit Design: Rotary Phone In A Bedpan, Attached To A Tripod

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bedpan phoneScore! This is a $150 rotary phone in a bedpan, attached to a tripod. It is basically a landline/urinal that will make a huge nasty mess if you ever tried to use it. Craft fail? You’re talking on it/peeing in it. Must be the new retro phone from A Pee & Pee.

Dr. Oz Zombie Heart Surgeon Doll

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doctor oz zombie dollDr. Oz. The women love this guy. And why not? Any dude who uses props of giant rectums and vaginas, and makes his audience interact with dried human hearts is a guy that chicks obviously feel safe around. Seems legit. Well, how do you like him now? This Zombie Dr. Oz will eat your brain right out of your head, but not before he does a little open heart surgery on you.

This version of Mehmet Oz was made from a Ken doll and will cost you $130. on Ebay. 10% of the money is going to a Pet Rescue charity, so there’s that. You can have him chase your Barbies around the Malibu Beach home. Not that Barbie has any brains.

Check out some more pics below.
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