Tag: etsy

You Have Just Been Poisoned Drinking Glass

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You Have Just Been Poisoned Drinking Glass
*Glug glug glug. Ahhhhhh. Refreshing.* You Have Just Been Poisoned. What in the holy hemlock? Depending on how fast the poison acts, I have between 2 seconds and 10 hours to solve my own murder. First, who would want to harm me? I’ll never get through that list in time. Who could have done it? I’m here all alone. That’s it! I have another personality and they want me dead. I’ll show them. Fills up the cup with poison and Sunny D. No one can resist Sunny D. Now I just wait for them to show up and drink. *Falls asleep waiting*

*Stretches and yawns as I wake up.* Mouth…so…dry. Mmmmm. Yummy Sunny D. *Glug glug glug* You have just been poisoned.

God Damnit!

Who could have done this? Who wants me dead?

11 Freaky Halloween Pet Costumes

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creepy halloween pet costumes
You may not know this, but your animals like to dress up for Halloween too. You wouldn’t know, because you are distracted by human Halloween. Check out these freaktastic pet costumes. These are the kinds of costumes that earn a dog an extra treat and a cat an extra pet. Not really. Most of these are downright freaky. Terrifying even. Like the Ghostbusters Zuul Demon Dog above.
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Man Eating Shark And Other Punny Figures

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Man Eating Shark And Other Punny Figures
Etsy seller Jtnee is a very punny person. They make these fun punny figures. Stuff like this Man Eating Shark figure. Looks tasty. Make sure you scroll down below to check out more stuff. Like a pillow fight with actual pillows fighting. Eating crow. A can of worms and more.

I love a good pun. Like the Beatles sang, happiness is a warm pun. Bang bang. Shoot shoot. BTW did you know that the Walrus was Paul? News to me? I always thought it was Wilford Brimley.
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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes

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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes
These Roses don’t have thorns, but they do have teeth and eyes. So they can see you and can bite you. This is why I don’t garden people. Well, that and did you know that gardens are full of bugs? Yuck. These murderous roses make a great gift for anyone who wants a gruesome garden.

Rotten Rose was a truck-stop floozy,
She’d treat ya right if ya could get her boozy.

I’ll just stop there.
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Crazy Creature Bangles

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Crazy Creature Bangles
These Crazy Creature Bangles from VoodooDelicious range from cute to creepy. They come in monster, demon and tentacle varieties. I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking down at my wrist and wondering what it would be like to have a monster living on it. Sometimes in my mind, I’m wearing a monster on each wrist and I make them fight by banging them together and making grunting noises.

That’s usually when nice old ladies approach and tell me what a sweet boy I am and ask if I got separated from my mommy. And then mall security arrives and I get carted off to an all-expenses paid trip to the funny place with the medicine. It’s called imagination people. I was too busy fighting monsters to fight them. Which is exactly how they get ya.
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