Tag: etsy

Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex

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Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex
Remember that scene from Titanic where Jack paints rose? Well, now you can remember it in a whole new way. With a T-Rex.

Paint me like one of your French girls Jack.

Sure, why not? If you wanted some hair under your arms you should have just said so. Let’s give you a baguette under one arm too and put a mime in the background. And a glass of wine. Have I missed any French stereotypes? Hmmmm, let’s give you something to surrender to. Like a giant asteroid that will wipe out your entire species. Yes Rose, I can do that. Love you Rose. Now show me one of those dinosaur boobies.

The Fowl Awakens: Chickens In Star Wars Costumes

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chickens in star wars costumes
What the cluck? I’m not sure if this is several Chickens in Star Wars Costumes or just a one-chicken Star Wars show. There’s Hen Solo, Princess Lay-A, ChewBAWKa and Cluck-3PO. I don’t even care, I would watch the hell out of this Broadway play. Put ’em in some star wars vehicles and make ’em sing.

Then again, I just watched the dryer toss clothes for like an hour. It was okay, but the plot was a little dry. Could have used a dryer sheet. I felt like they just threw a bunch of stuff in just to see how it all tumbled around. I can only blame myself as the director. Friggin’ diva actors. CUT! You’re a pair of crusty old jeans. Act like it. “Well, what is my motivation? Am I happy that the wash didn’t remove the giant sh*t stain or does it eat at my soul?” It speaks to your mortality and a spastic colon as you strive for a better life. Just dive in already. ACTION!
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Crazy Dollhouse Miniature Halloween Food

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dollhouse halloween food
Etsy seller PiccoliSpazi makes Halloween food dishes for your dollhouse. As if you playing with dolls at your age isn’t creepy enough.*Quickly hides my Star wars action figures. You’re crazy. Why would I make Luke and Leia kiss. Never happened.* You can choose from all kinds of crazy and scary dishes like fingers, eyes, brains and more. Barbie and Ken are eating good in da neighborhood.

If I show up at your dollhouse in a costume, can I get candy from that house? Hopefully some Kit-Kats? Cool. I’ll be right over! I’ll bring Barbie’s cousin Stacy and we can play all night. So what if I know who Barbie’s cousin is. I’m still manly. Kinda.
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Mummified Sorceress Demon

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fairy mummy skeleton cabinet of curiosity
Nothing to see here. Just your everyday Mummified Sorceress Demon with a snake body. That’s some shizz out of nightmares right there. Not sure if it’s a sorcerer or sorceress. The seller says both. Even after a long talk with Bruce Jenner, he/she can’t figure it out. A dress would certainly de-ugly it some.

Mummified sorcerer on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? No, it isn’t you, so don’t even say it. We both know that isn’t true.

The seller says that this thing kills fairies and can also be dangerous to humans.

His skin oozes a powerful venom and it is also equipped with a DART! It has 2 pairs of arms which one that can turn into wings if necessary.

Whatevs. My skin oozes powerful BO and I got lawn darts. Dude, you are nasty looking.

Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen

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Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen
Check out this Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen. That witch is burning like a marshmallow at a boy scout campfire. Dude on the left is just warming his hands, while pilgrim preacher dude has his eyes closed like “Damn, I love the smell of burning witch in the morning.” Dude on the right is like, “Whatevs. If you didn’t want to be burned as witch, you shouldn’t a won the local chicken egg lottery with your devil powers. Also you sew too straight. That ain’t natural! You get what you get girl.”

Yeah. This will make a lovely piece of art in your home. I’m sure it’s very calming.