The trouble with a two headed calf is that you never know what they are trying to say. They say every MOO twice.
MOO-MOO.
What? What is it girl? You complimenting me on my outfit? Yes it is a nice moo-moo. Just something I wear around the house.
It’s a cute calf, but I’m not sure I like it. I think she’s two-faced.
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Kraken of the Sea. Isn’t that what happens when the can says Chicken of the Sea, but when you open it, tentacles flail out, getting all in your nostrils and stuff? Happened to me once. Tickled.
This Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf is a hoodie and a scarf in one. It’s being modeled by a lovely redhead who was just a mermaid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The right place would have been my place. The right time? 9 o’clock. Before you come over, slip into something a little more casual. I already have tentacles that will be all over you. *Raises eyebrows up and down.*
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Thanks for inviting me over for coffee. What’s this?
That’s my new Ouija Board Coffee Table. Let’s ask it a question.
Cool. I’ll start? Are there any spirits in the house?
*Grabs a bottle of Jim Beam and smashes it against his head.*
There’s your f**king spirits! What are you crazy? I hate ghosts.
I’m pretty sure these Fantasy Creatures from Sweetsign would bite my hand off if I tried to pet them. So I’ll probably never ever touch them. I’ll just throw bed crumbs at them, until I have a huge mound of moldy bread in front of the shelf that they are occupying. Then I still won’t feel safe. And I’ll have bugs. Which they will probably love. They’ll come off of the shelf, eat a few bread bugs, then go back to displaying themselves. Then they’ll demand more bugs. Which takes more moldy bread….
What I’m trying to say is, this is why my house is a pigsty. You think I like living like this? I got freaky little creatures to feed! I used this same line on my wife when we first started dating. Sucker! *Runs around the room like a Tasmanian Dirt Devil, stirring up a filth tornado and laughing maniacally.* I’ll never be clean. NEVER!
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This Vintage Horror Movie Jewelry from DecayedAngelMerch is awesome and just the right (Vincent) price. Fun fact: An Elvira choker is not a nice person, (Why would you do that?) but it does make a kick-ass piece of jewelry. Whether you have Elvira boobs or not. They also have all kinds of necklaces with vintage horror icons like Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and more. Even some not so vintage ones like Beetlejuice. I’m not saying that three times.
These make great Halloween themed gifts. You what else makes a great Halloween themed gift? Kids not bothering me on Halloween night when I have all of my lights out, while I’m hiding and eating all of their candy.
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