Tag: etsy

Real Life Cast Of Vincent Price

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

vincent priceWhat do you want for your birthday? Well, what I really want is Vincent Price’s face on my wall? Can you make that happen? Etsy seller TheFXBunker can.

Some people hang mounted animal heads on their wall, especially if they shot them dead and want to display it as a trophy. Well, now you can pretend that you have successfully hunted down horror movie legend Vincent Price. You can choose both the young or old Vincent Price for $200. The young one means that you had a hell of a time chasing him through the forest and he almost got away. The old one says that you just bonked him on the head and threw him in your trunk. It was no sweat and you are a lazy hunter.

See both versions after the break.
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Behold The Creepicorn

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

creepicornThis ham-fisted, smurf colored cherub of doom either tripped and got an ice cream cone stuck in his head or is part unicorn. If those huge hands with their well manicured nails get a hold of you, it’s game over man.

Frame this fine art print up and creep up your living space for $20-$50. I wouldn’t put it by the bed, unless you like laying awake at night, shivering in fear.

Fetus Earrings Won’t Give You The Power Of Ultrasound

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Fetus EarringsLook at this. The miracle of life on each ear. What was that? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you since all sound waves are deflected off of my twin fetuses dangling from my ears as if swaying on their own umbilical cords.

Weeeee. Mommy is taking you for a wild ride today. First it’s off to Baskin and Robbins, because I deserve it and I have a spare cubbyhole where my butt meets my thigh, that needs to be filled with human-consumptive fat-wax. Then it’s off to the gym to work off yesterdays scandalous B and R rendezvous with raspberry. After that, it’s two hours of rom com on Netflix and then we’re off to the bar. If I play my cards right, I might just have another baby on board. For reals this time.

Mutant Dinosaur Poops Out Mickey Mouse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dinosaur pooping mickey mouseWTF? Just what you want to get your kid. A plush mutant dinosaur all cobbled together from various animals. Oh and did I mention that it is pooping Mickey Mouse from it’s blowhole? Hey, it also has cave drawings on it’s skin. Otherwise known as a Jurassic Tattoo.

I know how this guy feels. Reminds me of the time I gorged myself at Disney World. After a half hour of sitting on the porcelain throne, I did a Mickey myself. A huge Mickey. Had some peanut ears and everything. Then I overdid it again that night and did a Minnie, followed by a Donald. Then a Huey, Duey and Louie. I could have held it in, but I ain’t no Scrooge McDuck.

See more of this monstrosity below.
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Garbage Pail Kids Elaine Vein Bust

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Garbage Pail KidsGarbage Pail Kids are nasty. You leave any kid in the garbage for long enough, he/she is bound to have some deformities and gross behavior. Check out this bust of Elaine Vein for $207.49. That chick is crazy nasty, popping veins all over her head. Looks like the Fukushima boy’s choir.

Click through for a bonus poem and another shot of these freaks.
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