When you love her enough to give her jewelry, give her something she will remember. Like a Maggot Necklace. If you can’t afford the $17 to buy one, just leave some meat outside in the heat and wait. When the maggots show up, all wiggly and nasty, capture one. Stab it and put a chain through it’s body. Then you have a nasty maggot necklace. Your welcome.
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Tag: etsy
Scorpion High Heel Shoe
This creepy-ass scorpion shoe would be perfect for a one-legged witch who lives in the desert. It has wheels in back to urge you forward faster and when it goes too fast that stinger slams down and is all like “Slow down biatch, cause I just poisoned your sorry skank ass. By the way, your feet is stinky as an old cheese slice in a welfare fridge.” Because that’s how Scorpions talk.
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Sasquatch Sighting: Bigfoot Drops A Deuce
This Etsy listing is titled “Bigfoot breaks into some Dude’s Cabin and Totally takes a fat Dump in his toilet 11×14 fine art print”. That he does. The old Sasquatch is leaving a Cleveland steamer in some guy’s toilet.
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Post Apocalyptic Doll On Sled With Spinning Saw Blades Of Death
Let’s see, what do I have in the garage? There has to be something here I can sell on Etsy. Let me just put this doll on this sled and… Wait a minute. Hand me that gas mask. A little bit of wire. Those saw blades are awesome. Let’s use those. And make them really spin. People have way too many fingers anyway.
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Why Not?: Deer Rear Sculpted Into A Face
Some days an artist wakes up and says “I’m going to create the best sculpture ever today.” Other days you say, “I’m going to paint a masterpiece of abstract modernist industrial blah blah.” Then there are the days when you wake up and say, “Hey Cleetus, I’m gonna make me a face in a deer’s ass!” We’ve all been there.
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