Tag: fashionably creepy

Furry Cat Clutch Bag

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furry cat clutch purse
This cat clutch bag looks like a show cat had a date with a steamroller. Minus the bloody organs and tire tracks of course. It’s purrfectly pink and you girls will want to get it right meow. It’s a great accessory if you are having a Fancy Feast at a restaurant or just sitting at home eating a tuna sandwich while sighing as you watch your 70 cats go about their business of coughing up hairballs and pooping to the gentle sounds of Maury Povich on the TV.

Just one more cat can’t hurt. It’s just a clutch purse. It’s not like you have a problem. You can stop at any time.
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Banana Umbrella

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banana umbrella
This banana umbrella is looking ripe and ready to protect you from a hard rain. Just peel it to deploy your umbrella and go bananas. Bananas are an excellent source of potassium. You know what else is an excellent source of potassium? Mushrooms.

Although I wouldn’t pick them from the woods. It’s really hard to get your daily dose of potassium when you are being chased by elves with melty faces and riding praying mantis bikes. I think I got my potassium that day, but only after I saw my friend turn into the demon king of drippy ear wax and get eaten by a Venus Fly trap that was two pizzas slammed together. After that I woke up in the microwave inside of a giant hot pocket. Turns out the hot pocket was my sleeping bag and the microwave was the sun, burning my pale nerd skin.
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Gator Veil: Worn On The Bayou, Lord, Lord

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gator veilDamn! I had no idea that the next Mad Max was being filmed in the swamp. Calling it now! Gatordome! Two gators enter, one gator leaves. And there’s a tailgater outside. Seriously that’s a croc.

I’ll tell ya what’s not a croc. This veil. This Gator veil can be worn to swampland funerals and Bayou barbecues, but don’t wear it to Louisiana lunches, cause Louisiana lunches only have one thing they’re serving up. That’d be you gator-bait!

Later alligators, after while Tetris tile.
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UFO Alien Bolero Jacket

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alien ufo jacket
I’m gonna get me this UFO and Alien Head jacket so that the next time E.T. lands, I get to be ambassador for the entire human race. They won’t even question it. The jacket says that I am that guy! Once we have some negotiations and I get set up with my own small island, I will be the one to decide who gets probed and who doesn’t!

Everybody who picked on me in high school better look the f**k out! Those guys that made fun of me at the comic shop last week too. 1)That issue of My Little Pony IS canon and 2)It’s not just for girls and 3)You have missing time and are butt-sore.
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Fly And Bug Buddy Purse: Livin’ La Vida Larva

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superfly purseWhat’s all the buzz about this season in fashion? Not those rain boots and hairy legs stockings that Walmart shoppers are rocking this week, that’s for sure. It’s all about accessorizing. If you wanna look fly, you gotta start with maggots and work your way up to full fledged flying pest.

This Fly And Bug Buddy Purse is superfly. Store it in your closet by throwing it on a flystrip.