Tag: fun

Edgar Allen Poe Pop-Up Book

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edgar allen poe book
Just like Creepbay, Edgar Allen Poe is all about strange stuff. He’s been giving people nightmares for ages and he isn’t even a dentist or an employee of the IRS. Funny story: People used to think I was in the Edgar Allen Poe fan club. For awhile there I couldn’t go anywhere without somebody yelling, “Poser!” or “Look it’s that poser again! Piss off!” I’m flattered, really I am, but I have never been a member of the fan club guys.

Anyhow, this pop-up book called The Illustrated Edgar Allan Poe contains four unabridged tales from the master of the macabre, complete with scary pop-ups that will have you hiding behind the couch as your mom reads it to you. Not that that happened to me. I’m just sayin’. Dude writes some scary stuff.

Wow. Never noticed all the dust bunnies back here. Score! Found a floor gummi bear or as I like to call it, a Yeti bear. Gummis always wear jackets in cold places.
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Zombie Gun Holsters For Conceal And Carry Carnage

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zombie gun holster
Zombies. You gotta shoot the head. Anything else is just a waste of time. If you plan on living in the Zombie apocalypse, you have to have a gun. That means you have to have a cool holster too, so you can twirl your gun around and make pew pew pew noises, then re-holster it and look cool. *BANG* Hops around on one foot checking out the smoking hole in my other foot. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! zombies are in the trees! Run!

I may be on crutches for the next week or 3, but at least I have some wild Zombie holsters from Etsy seller RinehartLeather. They have all kinds of cool hand tooled leather holsters and stuff.
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Skeleton Dog On Leash

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skeleton dog on a leash
This Skeleton Dog On a Leash is man’s best bony friend. Plus, he’s already been dug up from a pet cemetery and cleaned up, so you don’t have to dig all night in the moonlight.

He won’t shed, he won’t poop and he won’t bark. It’s the perfect dog for runway supermodels, since dogs always look like their owners. In this case all bones and thigh gaps everywhere.
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Giant Lobster Claws

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lobster claws
Everyone should have a pair of giant lobster claws. They make everyday things into awesome things. Think of the fun that you could have doing things like: Hitchhiking, gesturing with your claws as you give directions, trying to saw through rope with your pincers, opening beer bottles and more.

You are gonna be a crazy crustacean. A prized pincer. Also, your handshake will now be powerful and dangerous for other humans. Life just got a little more awesome. Your new name is Zoidberg!

Fou Lard Bacon Scarf

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bacon scarThis Fou Lard Bacon scarf looks delicious. It should keep you warm in the winter months and not make your neck all greasy like the real thing. Fun fact: The French word for a silk scarf is foulard. So…Fou Lard. That’s word play. Which is foreplay for scrabble players. I think.

Basically the guys who make this say that the word is composed by fou (insane) and lard (bacon). If bacon is insane then call my frying pan an asylum and lets give ’em all some really hot therapy. The doctor is in and it’s a good day when all of the patients end up in my tummy.

Do I even know what I’m saying? Not really? I’m mesmerized by the idea of bacon on one’s neck.
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