Sit down and relax awhile in this Frankenstein Chair With Hands. Cuz that’s how Franky walks. Get it? With his arms stretched out, big man hands flapping all over the place?
It looks pretty comfy as far as Franken-furniture goes. I don’t know though. I’m holding out for a full living room set that includes a Dracula love seat and a Wolfman pelt rug. This chair does go with anything though. These monsters are universal. Get it? That’s a little movie humor. I’m awesome like that.
My parents never bought me anything cool like this Authentic Pirate Ship Bed. Instead they poured all of their hard-earned money into a college education and look how well that worked out. I still pretend I’m a Veterinarian when I call home and on Christmas I surround myself with 3-legged dogs and the like when they come over. Sometimes they ask me to diagnose their pets and sadly, the easiest way to lie my way through it, is with a needle and the words “This really is the kindest thing for him.”
It’s their own fault. If they had just spent their money on this awesome Pirate bed we would all be happier and their pets might live longer lives.
Read more “Pirate Shipwreck Bed”
It’s all about the Benjamins. Those soft and comfortable beanbag Benjamins. Your love of money knows no bounds, so cuddle up with a hundred dolla bill. Put your booty in Benjamin Franklin’s face and shake your money maker. Sink down deep into that green and sniff that chedda. Lay all over that sweet stash o cash. Jump on your Money beanbag chair in triumph. Cuz this is the life.
Hundred dolla bill yall!
Read more “Rest Your Legal Tender On This Money Beanbag Chair”
Some days you get the bear and some days the bear gets you. Some days you just lay down with the bear and roll around like a couple goofballs and hope to hell your buddy doesn’t rip your spleen out or take your face off.
This Sleeping Grizzly Bear Bean Bag looks pretty obese. That means he’s a good cuddler. At least that’s why my wife says I’m so cuddly. This fat bear is not just for sitting on. He’ll keep you warm even on the coldest night. And if he doesn’t I’ll just turn my lightsaber on and cut into his belly and climb in until a snowspeeder spots me in the morning. Then I’ll spend like 4 hours in a bacta tank recovering. It won’t be long before I head to the Dagobah system to train as a Jedi. Go me!
Read more “Hibernate With This Sleeping Grizzly Bear Bean Bag”
It is going to be so awesome having my own alien slave side table. It can hold drinks and serve me all of my meals.
Bring me a steak spaceman!
Yes master, how do you want it done? Rare? Well done? Medium well?
Not medium well, you idiot! I’ll have it done ros-well. This time try to be discreet. Cow mutilations are in the news again. Wait a minute! This report says that only the rectum and sex organs were missing. If my steak tastes like cow butt and scrotum E.T will be phoning home with two black eyes.
I already have those master.
Why you smart-mouthed little- *Strangles alien neck like Homer does to Bart*