Tag: metal

Dragon Door Knocker

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dragon door knocker
This Dragon Door Knocker is going to look awesome on my front door. Especially after I took out that second mortgage to give the place that whole Game of Thrones makeover. So what if it looks more like a beat up Jenga pile. I’m no contractor. Knock knock knock! Who is it? It’s dragon. Dragon who? Dragon my butt, cuz I’m so tired from blogging all day.

You can’t come in, the king’s not here.

I am the king!

Prove it! Prove your worth by removing a giant stone block from the castle of Jenga and I’ll let you in.

We went through this last week and it’s not funny. I lost the entire bedroom that day. And you’re just some dude named Merlin who I’m renting a room to and who farts way to much, then tries to cover it up with magic. Fine whatever, but I’m taking a piece from your side of the castle this time.
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Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers

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T-Rex dinosaur desk organizer
I’m working on a script called Jurassic Parks and Rec. It’s about a bunch of dinosaurs working for local government, trying to figure out the best way to deal with extinction level events. That really has nothing to do with these awesome Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers. Just figured I’d toot my own horn a little. *Wiggles thumb and pinky* Call me Hollywood.

These T-Rex skull organizers are sweet! They make your desk look like a rugged manly man works there. And I say that knowing full well that it takes a lot to counter that limited edition Rainbow Dash figure I have on my desk now. With the Rainbow Brite post-it notes.

Bookends That Attack

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bookends
You can’t have books without having some bookends to keep them all organized. Unless you are me and you use canned vegetables, because you’re cheap. What else am I gonna do, eat ’em? Anyway, if I eat that can of corn, my entire Game of Thrones book series is going to fall. Not that I read it. TV made it so I don’t have to read it. Anyway, did you know those books are like 500 pages? And they don’t even have a single picture of a dragon inside?

Anyway these awesome bookends from KnobCreekMetalArts all feature various attacks, with your books caught in the middle. Everything from tentacles attacking pirate ships, to dinosaurs trying to eat people, to aliens abducting people. Who needs to read the books when the bookends are so exciting?

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Custom Built Zombie Crusher With Automatic Machine Gun

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zombie crusher
This may not be large enough for me to tool around in during the imminent zombie uprising, but my action figures are gonna love this Zombie Crusher With Automatic Machine Gun. I’ll be taking zombies out with some awesome head shots from above, while my GI Joes and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shoot at their ankles. Pew! Pew! Pew! You’re all clear kid! Let’s blow this thing and go home!

Now I have to find something for my My Little Pony figures to ride around in. That’s right, I said it! I’m a brony. Got a problem? That’s what I thought! Don’t make me go all Rainbow Dash on you! Meaning, I will run away super fast with my colorful jacket and go play with ponies.
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Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp

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aliens lamp
Etsy seller Kreatworks creates all kinds of awesome and scary alien sculptures. Most of them cost way more than I have saved in my piggybank. I know, because I just busted the thing open and counted it all up before walking down the street and spending my life savings on a Kit Kat bar. Well, THAT was a tasty retirement! Back to work now!

Anyway, this Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp is all kinds of scary and awesome. It will totally watch you all night long as you watch it back, until you are a nervous wreck and hiding under the blankets, cursing the fact that you soiled yourself.

Lesson learned. Some things are just too scary to have in your bedroom. The next morning you decide that it would look much better in your toddler’s room.
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