Tag: novelty

Fried Chicken Drumstick Keyboard: Finger Clickin’ Good

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fried chicken keyboard
No wonder America leads humanity in muffin tops and back-boobs. Still, this keyboard with a drumstick on it is finger lickin’ and finger clickin’ good. You would be hard pressed to find any other kinds of keyboards in the head offices of KFC.

It’s a chicken strip. That you can type on. And you won’t even notice your greasy fingerprints and all of the chicken skin you dropped between the keys. Needs a miniature bucket of chicken mouse to accompany it though. Or just a greasy breast that leaves a trail of slime.
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UFO Alien Bolero Jacket

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alien ufo jacket
I’m gonna get me this UFO and Alien Head jacket so that the next time E.T. lands, I get to be ambassador for the entire human race. They won’t even question it. The jacket says that I am that guy! Once we have some negotiations and I get set up with my own small island, I will be the one to decide who gets probed and who doesn’t!

Everybody who picked on me in high school better look the f**k out! Those guys that made fun of me at the comic shop last week too. 1)That issue of My Little Pony IS canon and 2)It’s not just for girls and 3)You have missing time and are butt-sore.
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Skeleton Dog On Leash

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skeleton dog on a leash
This Skeleton Dog On a Leash is man’s best bony friend. Plus, he’s already been dug up from a pet cemetery and cleaned up, so you don’t have to dig all night in the moonlight.

He won’t shed, he won’t poop and he won’t bark. It’s the perfect dog for runway supermodels, since dogs always look like their owners. In this case all bones and thigh gaps everywhere.
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Hoyle Slice 2 Pack Skinny Playing Cards

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skinny playing cards
WTH? Poker just got all anorexic with these skinny playing cards. These are the playing cards that you get when your wife is leaving you and taking half of your stuff. Sure, take the playing cards! You’re only getting half!

While this isn’t as strange as most of the stuff we feature, these skinny cards are pretty weird. How am I supposed to hold these and look cool? I guess they are good for kids with tiny hands. Mommy, I got a full house AND a poopy diaper.

Spam Night Light: Wham Bam Thank You Spam

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spam night light
Night lights keep monsters away. This SPAM night light keeps other more nutritious foods away while it beckons you with it’s ominous evil glow.

Spam, Spam,
The magical meat.
The more your eat,
The more you mess your seat.

Bake it, fry it.
You’ll never want to diet.

Open the can and down that juice,
Then sit on the can and let it loose.