Tag: odd

Raven Walking People On A Leash

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Raven Walking People On A Leash
Let this be a cautionary tale. Within 100 years it will be the giant ravens, not the robots who will take over. That’s when we will see scenes like this Raven Walking People On A Leash. It will probably carry a bag and scoop to pick up our poop. I don’t know about you, but I plan on leaving huge steaming piles.Hey, we all resist however we can. There’s no right way to win this fight.

If I am well taken care of and fed and petted softly, and given treats, that could go a long way toward distracting these beasts. Doesn’t mean I’m a traitor. So what if I am so well behaved that I’m let out of my cage more often than you? Just doing my part. I guess what I’m saying is that I welcome our new Raven overlords.

Gets in cage right now and waits for the Raven apocalypse. I’m ready for my walkies!
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Jewish Outfit For Your Dog: Oy Vey

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Jewish Outfit For Your Dog
This Jewish Outfit For Your Dog is perfect for your Jewish dog. Just make sure you check your dog’s religion first. You don’t want to get this for your Catholic dog. It’s perfect for your dogs Pup Mitzvah.

Hey, you get to practice your religion, why shouldn’t dogs be able to practice theirs? Dogs are about more than just sniffing butts to say hello and humping legs to also say hello, you know. Geesh, throw your dog a bone and give him some religious freedom already. God is just dog spelled backwards ya know. I have to say these dogs sure know how to rock this outfit. The pair in the middle look sad that they can’t wear it.

Santa Clops Ornament

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Santa Clops Ornament
You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I’m telling you why. Santa Clops is coming to town. He’s making a list. And checking it twice. He has to check it twice, he only has one eye. Which explains why my gifts are never under the tree and why I wake up on Christmas morning to find half my sh*t broken. His depth perception sucks. Plus he’s a drunk. Either that or he just likes taking a dump in the fireplace.

If you like your Santa ornaments ugly and mutated, this blown glass ornament from Middle of Beyond is for you.

via The Awesomer

Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle

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Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle
Pull my finger. *sharts* Be right back. I have to go clean up. You shouldn’t have pulled it that hard. What are you nuts? This is why I need a Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle. That way, I can get all of the smell of this joke, without all the mess of sharting myself like a volcano.

This fart scented candle is so realistic, once you light it, you’ll want to light another match! It says it burns for 40 hours, just like your butt would if you laid this much stink yourself. Mmmmmmm. Smells like home. *Passes out.*

Zombie Claus Holiday Statue

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Zombie Claus Holiday Statue
Zombie Claus is here to deck the halls with rotting flesh and candy brains instead of candy canes. The stocking will be hung from the chimney with terror this year. This jolly moldy elf wants to take a bite out of your flesh. But that’s only after you hear the pitter-patter of undead reindeer on your roof and a groaning and rasping coming down your chimney. Christmas is now the day of the dead. I hope you got a shotgun last year, cuz you need it this year.