Tag: oddities

Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant

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Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant
Nothing says love like a Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant. I love you. Here have some dead maggots. Because you wiggled your way into my rotting heart like a hungry maggot on a piece of meat that had been left out in the sun. And you just kept feeding on me… Our love is kinda weird.

Yeah, I should totally write greeting cards. And because I care enough to send the very best to those that I love, I’m getting this pendant for a very special lady. Maybe she will be my maggot queen. When I kiss her, she will turn into a fly. And that’s gonna be really annoying, cuz she’s gonna land on my food and stuff, so I’m gonna have to smack her with the flyswatter! Love is eternal sure, but don’t land on the filthy toilet seat with your fly legs and then land on my dinner!

Two Headed Calf

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Two Headed Calf
The trouble with a two headed calf is that you never know what they are trying to say. They say every MOO twice.

MOO-MOO.

What? What is it girl? You complimenting me on my outfit? Yes it is a nice moo-moo. Just something I wear around the house.

It’s a cute calf, but I’m not sure I like it. I think she’s two-faced.
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Dragon Fetus In A Jar

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Dragon Fetus In A Jar
I’m pretty sure this cool Dragon Fetus In A Jar is a prop from the un-filmed Dreamworks production called “How to Abort Your Dragon.” I think I read that they had budget problems. But this is the next best thing to seeing the movie.

Meet Cleetus, the awesome dragon fetus. He looks all cute and sleepy with his wings curled up close. But he’s not. He’s dead. Or she. I have no idea how to tell male and female dragons apart until one starts bitchin’ about how the other never does chores and stuff.

Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft

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Monster Poison Bottles
These personalized Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft look amazing. OrionOddities makes all kinds. I’mma fill mine with with green soda and call it Montain Cthulu-Dew! Maybe fill ’em with chocolate sludge and call it Goo-Hoo.

Awesome. Did you say they are personalized?

Yeah, they’re pretty cool.

*One week later.*

Here’s your birthday gift!

Oh sweet! The Lovecraft bottles I wanted!

Check it out. I had them personalize them.

*Checks them out.* They all say, “Enjoy your Monster drinks you fat f**k!” *sigh* I will. You are so thoughtful. And descriptive. *tear falls from eye.*
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Rattlesnake iPhone 6 Case

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rattlesnake i phone 6 case
Sweeeet! Check out this Rattlesnake iPhone 6 Case. You can set your ringtone to a snake hiss and look all awesome when you pull your phone out with a Rattlesnake head attached. Even if it will bite you with every call.

Too bad I can’t use it. I just upgraded to an iPhone 3. Of course I also recently upgraded to a computer smaller than a refrigerator. It is SO nice to be able to see pictures on the internet. I had no idea that Facebook really was full of faces. That thing has faces everywhere. I’m in the process of moving over from Myspace. Ah hell. BRB The ice delivery guy is here. Now I can buy groceries! WOOT!