Author: Artemis Winterford

Bird Brain Bird Skeleton Headdress

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bird brain
Check out this Bird Brain Bird Skeleton Headdress. It leans forward to whisper commands that the wearer will have no choice but to follow. You are completely at it’s mercy as it digs it’s bony talons into your brain, sinking in deeper everyday. Nagging at you from your cerebral cortex.

It’s a lot like being married. Damn. You just got burned wife! Zing! Oh snap! *Mocking with hands on hips.* No you dit’int! Oh yes I did!

And with that I have to go pack now. She reads the blog everyday and she’ll be home soon. And since I don’t have time to hide all of the knives and heavy pans, it’s easier to just leave.
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Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses

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Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses
These Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses from Nyghtwear are scary, spooky and all together kooky. Like me. You can choose from zombies, Edgar Allen Poe, Vampira, Frankenstein and more.

I’m bringing mine to my favorite bar and telling the bartender to fill it up! And by my “favorite bar” I mean the long row of wine boxes on my kitchen counter. By “bartendar” I mean my assorted cats who are always licking at the nipple/dispenser part like it’s a row of mom kitty titties. As usual, there will be none left for me. I’ll just go drink from my water dish. Again! *grumbles* Going to an actual bar.

Edgar Allen Poe me another drink bartender, I brought my own Franken-stein. No this doesn’t have a lid. He flipped it. Been gone for awhile now. He likes to drink deep and forget.

So fill it up high and raise a toast to the world’s greatest monsters. Speaking of which. The wife couldn’t be here. She sends her apologies, but promises to resume her nagging and grunting the minute I get back.
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Halloween Giveaway: Win This Awesome Dead Spider Legs Ring

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dead spider leg ring

We like awesome, cool and weird stuff around here. Now we are giving something cool and creepy away to our readers. You guys and gals are the best. It’s time to give something back. Look, I got this cool Dead Spider Legs ring for you. If you win it, we are just friends. It doesn’t mean we’re married. Cool?

We recently featured this creepy and kick ass ring by Ricksonjewellery and now we’ve teamed up with Rickson to give it away to a lucky winner. One lucky reader will win this prize and have a dead spider on their finger this Halloween. It is valued at $135. Here’s all you have to do:

Share this post with your friends on Facebook.

or

Share it on Twitter.

The deadline is October 20th. Everyone who shares this post will have an entry and we will pick a winner on October 20th.
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Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2

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WTF
Damn. I guess Alpo ain’t working out for this pooch. And neither is Rogaine. When I first got a glimpse of this I said to myself, “Self, this is either a freaky acne-riddled business man in a dog suit doing some weird bondage thing or a man-dog representation of the herp come to warn us about unprotected sex.” I’m still not sure which is right, so I’m just taking their word for it, that this is Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Seems legit.

It looks like J. Edgar Hoover meets Baron Vladimir Harkonnen from Dune.
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Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals

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Kraken tentacles wall decal
Hey, what’s Kraken? These Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals, that’s what? It wants to give you a big hug, then pull you down to drown in the murky depths. Kind of like my Aunt Louise always did, except she’ll pinch your cheeks first, then pull you in for a hug so you can suffocate in her massive bosoms. That might not have been so bad, but Aunt Louise used to be Aunt Louie. I had an awkward childhood.

At family get-togethers my dad would hold him/her back at the door, then yell, “Unleash the Kraken!” and all the kids would run. I was always too slow.
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