This monster dishware from wigoutgraphics is pretty cool. You can serve up monster themed food on them (I’m assuming) like The Creature from the Black Legumes, Frankenstein Franks, even Wolfman Waffles. It’s always a party when you have monster dishware. A monster mash! C’mon you knew that was coming. Oh, that’s awesome. Monster Mashed potatoes!
I don’t know about you, but I’m a real bear in the kitchen and if anybody comes near those muffins I’m gonna slice ’em up real good with my bear claws. Then when I’m all done cooking I’m gonna stuff my face full of muffins and exit the kitchen on all fours, dropping a deuce on the way out. Hey, you humans have your traps, I have mine.
You want some muffins, you gotta cross the steaming minefield and make it out again with the prize. But you won’t, because I’ll be waiting. They’re mine! All mine! *Goes crazy and starts slashing the air with my Bear Oven Mitts With Claws, letting out a huge roar!* Sorry about that. Sugar high. Now back to muffins.
Etsy seller GeorgiaPeachdesigns has a real candy shop of horrors, where all of the sugary treats have teeth and bad attitudes. Hey, am I biting you or are you biting me? Stop biting me while I savor your sweetness. This stuff is delicious, but every time I shop here and eat this stuff, my tongue gets all bloody and cut up.
Screw you horror candy. You’re supposed to be a Hershey’s kiss, not a Hershey’s death wish! And you won’t get to the center of that Tootsie Pop. It will bite to the center of you!
Nah. You don’t really eat ’em. They’re earrings and stuff. Frightening!
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This nose nose when you need some shower gel. Just like I know how to pick a winner of a weird item. Heh. Pick a winner. Like boogers. If boogers were a lottery I’d be a millionaire by now. And the wall by my bed would be full of numbered lottery balls instead of dried and flicked nose-nuggets.
Give this big honker a squeeze and it will drip out a snot rocket or two so you can get nice and clean. The Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser. drip some boogers and wipe yourself clean with them.
This Nosferatu Lampshade will light up your life and illuminate the supernatural bloodsucker known as Nosferatu. *Sings* I’m doing all right, getting good grades. My lamp is so bright, it’s gotta wear shades…
This lamp shade is odd really cuz vampires don’t like the light. He should come out when the light goes off, raid your fridge, make a sammich or two and sneak back on the lampshade before you even know anything happened. But what do I know?
How do you know when a vampire has a cold?
He keeps a coffin!
I have proven once again that I can write jokes at a fifth grade level. Go me. Actually I stole that joke from a third grader.
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