Category: Just Plain Weird

Nightmare from the Underbed Rabbit Monster

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

rabbit monsterI’m feeling a tad sick. Maybe I’ll just get some soup from the cupboard. That will feel nice and-*opens the cupboard and screams. Slams the cupboard shut, screaming some more, running around hysterically in circles, hyperventilating into a paper bag, before fainting*

No. No, I’m feeling healthy. I’ll be fine. No soup for me. In fact, I don’t need anything from that cupboard. Ever again.

This scary beast clutching a soup can comes from Etsy seller RavendarkCreations for $250. It was inspired by Brom’s illustrated novel Plucker.
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Garbage Pail Kids Bony Tony Toy

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bony Tony Garbage Pail Kids are gross. Grosser than that fat neighbor kid I call Lindsey LoHam. Or that creepy neighbor kid who carries the scythe. What’s his name? Oh yeah. Undead Ed. Anyway, this is a pretty disturbing and awesome rare Garbage Pail kids toy. Bony Tony. Dude has the ultimate Garbage Pail power. His skin is like a hoodie.

He looks like a normal(For Garbage Pail Kids) kid, but when he unzips his skin, he is all bone baby. Probably uses that line on the Garbage Pail girls all the time too. This guy is just $750 on Ebay.
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Newly Hatched Baby Raptor Jesus Egg

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Baby Raptor JesusHey, if they say it’s baby Jesus hatching out of an egg, who am I to argue? I am ready to worship you, my fetus bodied, raptor headed god, sitting on your eggshell throne. How may I serve?

Yes master. *buzz* I shall get the DNA of your raptor relatives and clone them at once. *buzz* You shall have a mighty army. Just as soon as I get this fly. There he is my lord. On your nose. *Crack/squish* Oh s**t. Can you hear me raptor Jesus? No? Damn.

Psst.

What do you want Satan Clamcake? *hold out your hand boy* Okay. Sweet. Thanks for the thirty pieces of silver. Is this enough to buy a PS4?
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Squeezy listening: Rest Room Radio

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

restroom radioPinch a loaf to the sounds of Meatloaf. Sit there crampin’ with Peter Frampton. Fill the bowl to Billy Joel. This is all possible thanks to the Rest Room radio. Just sit back and enjoy the tunes.

Only $20 from Etsy seller YouJustMightNeedThis.
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Weird Extraterrestrial In A Box

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cute weird alienYou’ll find all kinds of strange and bizarre creatures in Etsy seller netherworldoddities’ shop, but this cute and weird extraterrestrial is special. I’m pretty sure he will grant you three wishes, before laughing maniacally and disappearing in a puff of smoke that smells like a fart, which is this tricksters final gift to you.

First I would be all like, “Look, give me unlimited wishes and I will wish for some legs for your little Jabba The Hutt body. Are you with me here? Or do you want to crawl around like a slug all your life?” You have to know how to handle these Genie types. Of course, I would give him “table legs”, which are pretty useless. No Genie is getting one over on me! Not after last time. *Peers out the curtain, watching all the male deer graze on my front lawn…my neighbors lawn…his neighbor’s lawn…and everywhere* Stupid literal Genie, giving me the million bucks I asked for!
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