Tag: etsy

Alien Head Metal Wall Art

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Alien Head Metal Wall Art
Stare into this Alien Head Metal Wall Art and the alien will stare into your soul. Seems pretty cool right? It is. Until you realize that it’s a portal to an alien UFO. *Cue Twilight Zone music.* A doorway, through time and space, to a… butt probing zone.

This is how they get you. You buy weird stuff that they planted as bait. You take it home. And they have their next rectum, I mean victim. You just bought yourself a doorway to an intergalactic proctology office. Have fun with that. This is why I don’t decorate with aliens, unless they come in the middle of the night and my shotgun decorates the wall with their glowing blood.

Anatomical Skeleton Teapots

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Anatomical Skeleton Teapots
Etsy seller bycandlelight27 has some really nifty teapots for sale if you like anatomy. And I do like anatomy. I was checking out the anatomy on this girl at the coffee shop earlier. She had a fine set of teapots, but her cups were a little small- But that’s not important right now.

Back to these teapots. They come in a skull, ribs and a hand version. That way you can think about the human body while you pour your tea and appreciate all of your parts. Nature really is amazing. Even if those parts are all icky and sticky and gross.

Want some tea? You can’t have any. It’s called anato-ME, not anato-YOU.
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Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder

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Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder
You know, some girls look like monsters before they put on their makeup. Not you. You are beautiful. Never change. But some girls. Like that one down the street with the unibrow, who I never see during full moons, yet her front yard is always covered in chicken carcasses the day after. Yeah, that one is a real minger! Don’t tell her I said so. Anyway, this Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder is perfect for all of you beautiful and lovely creepbay-reading ladies who love monsters. Now you can put your face on with Dracula, the mummy and the rest of the gang.

Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb

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Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb
Hey little Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb! Why so sad? Turn that frown upside down. You have a womb with a view. What more could you want? Yeah I guess it’s a little cramped in there. You probably want to be born already and leave that glass womb behind. Hang in there buddy. You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try trimester again. Heh. Just a little fetal humor to lighten the mood.

You look like you’re deep in thought. Kinda creepin’ me out if I’m honest. Anyway, try not to have such a de-fetal attitude. Get it? Am I annoying you fetus? That thing really sparkles. Do you use Windex? You sure I’m not annoying you? I’m just gonna pull up a chair and hang. So anyway, I never told you about that time…
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Altered Alien Figurines

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Altered Alien Figurines
We’ve featured FindersCreepers work before. She likes to do naughty things to vintage figurines. The truth is out there and now it is on your knick-Knack shelf. At least until some Man In Black comes and steals it, tells you you never saw it, it was never there, you were mistaken, there is no such thing as Altered Alien Figurines. Screw you MIB. I know what I saw! Great, now there’s an empty spot on my shelf where there’s no dust. Also that MIB left his dark glasses. Let’s check them out.

*Puts glasses on. Sees the words CONSUME, OBEY and SLEEP all over the place.* Pfft! Tell me something I don’t know. *Tosses glasses.*
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