Tag: glasses

Bigfoot Beer Glasses

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Bigfoot Beer Glasses
Get a set of 2 Bigfoot Beer Glasses. That way you can do like I do. Drink one and leave one out on the back porch for Bigfoot. Pro tip: He likes a stout ale. You pour anything else for him and you’ll be cleaning thrown feces off the back deck for a week. He’s such a baby!

Then if you don’t give him a beer at all he’s all like, I’m just gonna walk around all night grunting outside of your window and leave huge footprints while I whine like a wuss.

The intervention is next week. I still have to order the tranquilizer darts and body armor.

Make Every Drink A Monster Drink With These Monster Glasses

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Make Every Drink A Monster Drink With These Monster Glasses
All the kids are slamming Monster drinks, so I figured I would too. Gonna order these awesome Monster Glasses and see if they give me energy too. Plus, I’ll never forget which glass is mine. I’m Chupacabra all the way baby! Sometimes I feel like a Kraken too so I’m covered. I’ll save the Loch Ness monster for friends since it’s a rare occasion that any show up and when they do, I have no proof.

Bigfoot? I’ll fill that up and leave it on the back porch for the neighborhood Sasquatch. That way he can stop drinking from the hose when we’re not looking.

Radioactive Waste Drinking Glasses

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radioactive waste drinking
If you don’t like the idea of drinking out of a human mouth, try these Radioactive Waste Drinking Glasses. I’ll have a Three-Mile Island! No, make that a Manhattan Project. Just give me a Chernobyl on the rocks.

I make my own radioactive glasses. It’s called not washing it for several years and then putting it in an industrial strength microwave for like an hour so that thick layer of bacteria glows. It’s a glass and a night light. The nose bleeds should stop eventually and now that the last tooth is gone, I’m spending my dentist money on cool stuff like video games, so I feel like it’s all good.

Now if I could just stop Hulking out when I’m angry, life would be sweet.

Name Your Poison Whiskey Glasses

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poison glasses
These Name Your Poison Whiskey Glasses are pretty cool, but they forgot marriage. And taxes. I kid, I kid. I married my wife for tax purposes so it’s all good. She got me this set for Christmas last year and I’ve been drinking out of the arsenic one ever since. Also not feeling very well and constantly pooping myself as she laughs.

You can’t even poison me right you cow!

Shut up you fat old idiot! I’m pouring you a double right f***ing now!

Oh, I’m drinking! I’ll take two!

*dodges flying glass*

I’ll see you in hell old man! I’ll be the bartender!

Best Disguise Ever: Spoonface

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spoon disguiseThis disguise made from spoons is genius. Disguise yourself as Spoony Luv, Arthur Spooner, Reese Witherspoon and other people with spoon in their name. You put this disguise on and you immediately become a superhero.
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