The folks over at zedszombieranch sell these cool Skeleton Candle Holders, which make skeletons your slaves, effectively making you the king of skeletons. You might say you’ll have a skeleton crew. I made a funny. I made a funny. I laughed so hard, I also made a not so funny in my pants, but that’s TMI. Also TMT. Too Many Tacos. Clean up in aisle me!
Get yourself a skeleton army and some candles to go with them.
It’s alive! Alive! I don’t know about you, but I could never be a mad scientist and re-animate dead corpses. Like Ronnie James Dio, when I see lightning, it always brings me down. But it’s fun to pretend that you are creating a monster. Unlike my parents who skipped pretending and went straight for the horror.
Anywho, with every flick of this 3D Printed Frankenstein Light Switch Plate, you will feel like a God creating life. Or you know, at least a God turning the light on in the crapper.
Happy Halloween sir! Happy Halloween kid. Here’s a 1LB Bag Of Gummy Chicken Feet. *Dumps it into the kids bag and it instantly sags to the floor.* I was gonna give out Snickers, but clearly I don’t give a cluck!
You suck old man!
Then give me my chicken feet back! That’s what I thought! You better run. Use 2 of those gummy feet to run away like a little chicken. Punk! Bawk! Bawk!
Why this kid comes to my door dressed as the Comcast guy every f***ing time someone new moves in next door, I have no idea. Has his own truck and everything. Kid obviously has no idea that Halloween happens once a year. I just humor him. Great! The cable is out again!
This Demon Skin Rug really ties the room together. And insures that no one ever enters that room again. Sure, it’s dead, but dead bees can still sting ya. I ain’t takin’ any chances. Look at the tongue on this thing. And the teeth.
Check out the images below to see this thing all laid out on a covered hot tub. That’s exactly where I would put it too if I wanted people to stay out. It’s as good as a sign that says, “this hot tub is protected by Satan and his minions.”
It’s expensive, but the seller says that it can be purchased on “LAY” away. They made a funny. Which I would find hilarious if I weren’t so scared.
Read more “Home Decor From Hell: Demon Skin Rug”
These personalized Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft look amazing. OrionOddities makes all kinds. I’mma fill mine with with green soda and call it Montain Cthulu-Dew! Maybe fill ’em with chocolate sludge and call it Goo-Hoo.
Awesome. Did you say they are personalized?
Yeah, they’re pretty cool.
*One week later.*
Here’s your birthday gift!
Oh sweet! The Lovecraft bottles I wanted!
Check it out. I had them personalize them.
*Checks them out.* They all say, “Enjoy your Monster drinks you fat f**k!” *sigh* I will. You are so thoughtful. And descriptive. *tear falls from eye.*
Read more “Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft”