Tag: morbid

Brain Bowls: It’s All Brain Food Now

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brain bowls
Brains! Brains! The magical bowls.
Zombies eat ’em to get their lols.

Buy some today, be a good consumer,
Send yours back if it has a tumor.

Drop ’em and watch them shatter,
Lining your kitchen with Fruity Pebbles and grey matter.

These brain bowls are awesome, but they’re going to attract all of the neighborhood zombies for sure. No! Bad Zombie. You can have the Lucky Charms I poured you, but don’t eat the bowl. No. No! Don’t make me get the spray bottle.
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This Bloody Pillow Is Bloody Soft

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bloody pillow
Use this Bloody Pillow to prank your friends into thinking they are walking into a murder scene, because nothing says friendship like simulating murder and pretending to be a corpse lying in your own blood. I’m not judging. Different strokes for different folks.

I’m gonna buy it because it’s soft and comfy, not because it makes it look like I am bleeding from the head. If anyone happens to see me napping and call the cops, it wouldn’t be the first time. Of course last time it was because I just overdosed on red skittles and tomato juice while at the beach. Odd combination? Sure, but you gotta get your daily intake of vegetables in somehow. I had been drooling for like two hours. I vaguely remember Greenpeace saying they had never seen a whale so grotesque, but after that I blacked out.

Stitched Skin Chest

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skin chest
Take that! Suck it you giant Troll. Guys I beat the boss! I’m gonna open the chest. Ewww. Wait! I’m not opening that. It’s looking at me from like every side. This thing is like a Beverly Hills housewife. You need a scalpel to open it up and get the money out! Only this thing ain’t gonna look any better after.

You can’t even try to pick the lock because the damn teeth will snap at you. Oh well, no skin off my chest. Seriously, stop looking at me. What did I say to have you in stitches anyway? You can keep all of your gold and sweet dungeon loot. We’re off to another dungeon. You might want to see a dermatologist pal.
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Homemade Star Wars AT-ST With Sheep’s Skull

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star wars at at skull
The Empire Strikes FEAR with this crazy nasty Star Wars AT-AT, which is actually an AT-ST unless I need my geek credentials taken away. In this case it stands for All Terror-Skull Transport. If the Empire could harness zombie technology, this is the kind of equipment they would be using.

I have to ask. What makes someone put a sheep’s skull on a friggin’ Star Wars toy? Probably the same thing that made me drown all my figures in glue and pretend it was carbonite. The Force. We can blame it for everything!

This is the result of one of my art projects in college some years ago, genuine sheeps skull on star wars walker legs! Awesome!

I’m guessing there were a lot of hallucinogens at that college. Just kidding. But still, you’re weird. I’m locking up all of my toys when you come over to play.

Thanks Jeremy.
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Bride of Frankensquirrel: It’s Alive! It’s- No, Nevermind

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bride of frankenstein taxidermy squirrel
This is the problem with collecting Squirrel parts, sewing them together and reanimating their corpse. They always want a bride. Hey guys, we gotta have somewhere to store our nuts? Am I right? *High Five! Waits. Nothing. Shrugs* I’m just saying we all want a mate, even Franken-Squirrels.

This one’s a keeper. Looks like she just got back from the electricity outlet salon and she’s doing that zombie walk that monsters do. And she obviously won’t kill your credit card buying a wardrobe. Her clothes are half off already. I mean, in both price(Look at that ratty thing) and literally falling off.
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