Tag: novelty

Wooden Bat Wings Bow Tie

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bat bow tie
Sometimes I invite vampires to dress up and attend my fancy balls. My vampire balls are held strictly for fun of course. In fact I have often heard it said that my Vampire balls are “sweaty, but well formed”, because I do tend to have the heat up, but it is all planned out perfectly. Others say that my Vampire balls are “high and tight” and they are, as we are on the penthouse floor, but in a small side room.

But enough about my great big swinging Vampire balls. If you attend, make sure you wear something like this cool Wooden Bat Wings Bow Tie. If I am impressed, perhaps next year I will put you in charge and then you can hold my Vampire balls for me.

Mushion Pillows: Now You Can Sit On Your Own Face

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Mushion Pillows
I hear ya. What the hell is a Mushion? Right? Sounds like a cushion made out of mush. Close. It’s a picture of your face blown up and made into a pillow. Mushion Pillows will let you sit on your own face. Or someone else’s. You can also make a pillow of someone else’s face and practice kissing it for like an hour until your mom barges in, sees you tonguing the pillow and starts crying, asking where she went wrong. It’s happened to all of us right? I mean, not me. Just sayin’.

I would use it as a voodoo type pillow and fart in the faces of my enemies, hoping that they smell my farts wherever they are.
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11 Freaky Halloween Pet Costumes

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creepy halloween pet costumes
You may not know this, but your animals like to dress up for Halloween too. You wouldn’t know, because you are distracted by human Halloween. Check out these freaktastic pet costumes. These are the kinds of costumes that earn a dog an extra treat and a cat an extra pet. Not really. Most of these are downright freaky. Terrifying even. Like the Ghostbusters Zuul Demon Dog above.
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Man Eating Shark And Other Punny Figures

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Man Eating Shark And Other Punny Figures
Etsy seller Jtnee is a very punny person. They make these fun punny figures. Stuff like this Man Eating Shark figure. Looks tasty. Make sure you scroll down below to check out more stuff. Like a pillow fight with actual pillows fighting. Eating crow. A can of worms and more.

I love a good pun. Like the Beatles sang, happiness is a warm pun. Bang bang. Shoot shoot. BTW did you know that the Walrus was Paul? News to me? I always thought it was Wilford Brimley.
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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes

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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes
These Roses don’t have thorns, but they do have teeth and eyes. So they can see you and can bite you. This is why I don’t garden people. Well, that and did you know that gardens are full of bugs? Yuck. These murderous roses make a great gift for anyone who wants a gruesome garden.

Rotten Rose was a truck-stop floozy,
She’d treat ya right if ya could get her boozy.

I’ll just stop there.
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