Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set

Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set
You know how the pyramids were built by aliens? Well they also visited baby Jeebus and came bearing gifts. All around the world, people celebrate the three alien wisemen who arrived that day to see the boy king of kings and now you can celebrate this trio in your own home by displaying the Three Alien Wisemen Christmas Ornament Set.

You get Grog’nok, Pilch’nark and Gil’mek all carrying the ceremonial stars to give to baby Jeebus as a gift. One by one they approached the manger and gave the gift, and in doing so, exposed their nakedness to everyone in the manger. It is the alien way. Bring only enough to cover yourself and then run back to the spacecraft.

And so we celebrate and we remember with these special keepsakes.
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Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man

Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man
So… That happened. The Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man wants to be your new favorite holiday decor. Looks like they have a good ginger bread train going there. All aboard! Choo choo! If you’re gonna do the whole human centipede thing, I guess being a ginger bread man is the way to go. That way, all you taste is ginger bread, instead of you know, butt. I love that guy’s face in front. He’s all like, “Holy shizz! I did not see my day going like this!”
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Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces

Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces
These Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces are pretty scary. You can choose from the three shown in the image or you can get them all cuz they tell an awesome story from left to right. That story is as follows: Once upon a time there was a dead girl with long hair. Then she put her hair up. Then got bitten by some nasty teeth. The end.

I like long haired girl the best and that’s not just because I skipped to the end and read the last page. I just like my skeletons with long hair that’s all. Nothing wrong with that. Even if I bring my own wig. Perfectly acceptable. No big deal.

Body Wrapped In Bag Christmas Ornament

Body Wrapped In Bag Christmas Ornament
Wow. That’ll get Santa’s attention and make him soil his jolly old pants. This Body Wrapped In Bag Christmas Ornament is sure to make the big guy recheck his nice and naughty list. He may even start a new list and call it “Serial Killer. Do not visit next year. Call the police!” If you are looking to decorate a darker tree this year, this ornament is perfect. Hey, at least it isn’t floating down a river somewhere.

Yeah this will compliment all of those newspaper clippings you have on your wall, with the scribbled red writing and Xs over people’s faces. Damn son, your stockings are hung on the chimney with terror!

Evil Metal Robot Hell Dog

Evil Metal Robot Hell Dog
Hey guys, I think I just discovered what stands guard at the gates of hell. What? No, not my wife! Well, her too. I’m talking about this Evil Metal Robot Hell Dog. It can’t be stopped, it can’t be reasoned with, but I hear if you give it a nice bowl of warm milk, it will lay down and purr, then you can pass. Nevermind. That’s for evil robot hell cats. Yeah, if you see this thing, just kiss your butt goodbye. If you have three grand to spare, you can park it in your yard and command this hell beast or spend all day riding it like a motorcycle and making vroom vroom noises. That’s what I’d do.