Tag: unique

Hatching Dinosaur Candle

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Hatching Dinosaur Candle
This Hatching Dinosaur Candle is adorable. Things hatching from eggs are always cute. Except cockroaches. F them! Seriously. Look at that little guy just breaking free from his egg. Is that a T-Rex? Cuz he totally T-Wrecked that egg! Sorry about that bad joke. I wasn’t gonna type it, but it was a Jurassic lark.

Anyway, candles that are also dinosaurs hatching? Dreams do come true peeps. This is the whole life cycle in one candle right here. Egg, lit candle, dinosaur lives for awhile, then dinosaur is engulfed in flame and melts. Life and death. It really makes ya think about how precious life is. How fleeting. We should all be kind to-

*Ding*

Pop Tarts are ready! Woo-Hooo. Later peeps.

Gothic Bat Necklace

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Gothic Bat Necklace
Even if you don’t know much about fashion and style, you can always wing it with this Gothic Bat Necklace. Get it? Wing it? Oh, this would look lovely on you Morticia. You too Elvira. Yeah, so what if I’m a name dropper? Once I dropped my friend Jennifer’s name. Broke a few letters. Now she’s just Jen. No, not Jenny from the block. Jenny the checkout girl from the store down the street. Nah, she doesn’t work the register. I just like to check her out. Well, not like a library book or anything. She doesn’t have time and date stamps down her spine from me checking her out.

Oh man, I get so off track after like 4 cups of coffee. Also after some D cups. Any size really. Damn, I’m really tweakin’ here guys. Off track like a wrecked race car. Okay, calm down. I can do this. *Takes a deep breath.*

Basically I’m trying to say that this Bat Necklace is awesome. It’s the bees knees. The bat’s knees. Bat-knee. Is that bat acne? I have no guano idea.

I’m out. Gonna go run around the house and scream until I feel normal again.

Raven Walking People On A Leash

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Raven Walking People On A Leash
Let this be a cautionary tale. Within 100 years it will be the giant ravens, not the robots who will take over. That’s when we will see scenes like this Raven Walking People On A Leash. It will probably carry a bag and scoop to pick up our poop. I don’t know about you, but I plan on leaving huge steaming piles.Hey, we all resist however we can. There’s no right way to win this fight.

If I am well taken care of and fed and petted softly, and given treats, that could go a long way toward distracting these beasts. Doesn’t mean I’m a traitor. So what if I am so well behaved that I’m let out of my cage more often than you? Just doing my part. I guess what I’m saying is that I welcome our new Raven overlords.

Gets in cage right now and waits for the Raven apocalypse. I’m ready for my walkies!
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Jewish Outfit For Your Dog: Oy Vey

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Jewish Outfit For Your Dog
This Jewish Outfit For Your Dog is perfect for your Jewish dog. Just make sure you check your dog’s religion first. You don’t want to get this for your Catholic dog. It’s perfect for your dogs Pup Mitzvah.

Hey, you get to practice your religion, why shouldn’t dogs be able to practice theirs? Dogs are about more than just sniffing butts to say hello and humping legs to also say hello, you know. Geesh, throw your dog a bone and give him some religious freedom already. God is just dog spelled backwards ya know. I have to say these dogs sure know how to rock this outfit. The pair in the middle look sad that they can’t wear it.

Gothic Horror Chess Set

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Gothic Horror Chess Set
Who knows how to play chess? Not me. I usually just bluff my way through a few rounds and then flip the table, knocking all the pieces down as I yell Checkmate. Then I walk away the clear winner cuz I didn’t waste two hours playing a nerd game. Even though I usually go home and play with action figures.

But if you have to play brainiac nerd games, this Gothic Horror Chess Set should do the trick. It features Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, and Zombies. Oh and two nerds on either side of the board. I’m sorry. I’m just jealous cuz my sister sank my battleship then beat me at Connect Four.

Where?

There, diagonally!