Author: Artemis Winterford

Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb

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Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb
Hey little Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb! Why so sad? Turn that frown upside down. You have a womb with a view. What more could you want? Yeah I guess it’s a little cramped in there. You probably want to be born already and leave that glass womb behind. Hang in there buddy. You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try trimester again. Heh. Just a little fetal humor to lighten the mood.

You look like you’re deep in thought. Kinda creepin’ me out if I’m honest. Anyway, try not to have such a de-fetal attitude. Get it? Am I annoying you fetus? That thing really sparkles. Do you use Windex? You sure I’m not annoying you? I’m just gonna pull up a chair and hang. So anyway, I never told you about that time…
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Alien Autopsy Game

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Alien Autopsy Game
Alien Autopsy Game. It’s the fun game of poking and prodding an alien lifeform, just like they’ve been doing to you forever. Stick stuff in, wiggle it around. Make them scream and cry. These b**tards deserve it. The box says, “One wrong move and it’s scream will send you running.” One wrong move might also prevent this intergalactic jerkwad from reproducing if you know what I mean! I think you do! It’s the wacky game of alien operation!

First players watch from their own human made UFO, flying high above the alien homeworld. When the alien goes to sleep, just zip right down, beam some light into it’s room and abduct that sucker! Then in your human lab aboard the ship, conduct experiments and operate on that bug-eyed freak! When it’s pain no longer amuses you and makes you giggle like a lunatic, release it back into the wild. But don’t forget to mind-wipe it first!

What do you think little Bobby?

I want to believe, but I need to operate again to be sure!

What about you little Suzie?

I stuck an implant in it’s fat head and spit in it’s spleen!

That’s the spirit kids! Alien Autopsy! Creepbay approved!

Classic Horror Movie Icons As Babies

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Classic Horror Movie Icons As Babies
Have you ever wondered what your favorite Horror movie icons would look like as babies? German artist Pit Hammann came up with baby versions of these famous bad guys in this series of illustrations. Pretty freaky how his mind works, I mean who thinks about these freaks as baby freaks? But whatevs. I approve. These toddlers are terrors. He covers movies like Jaws, Hellraiser, Frankenstein and more. I like Freddy stealing pizza. Nosfera-tot is pretty cute too, but I wouldn’t want to babysit any of these kids. Hit up his website to see more.
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Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture

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Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture
Sweet! There’s a raptor in my garden! I put in a rib-bone as a seed like 2 months ago and it’s finally growing! Yippee! I can’t wait to take him on long walks and wait for him to go pee-pee on fire-hydrants and scoop up his dino poop. I’m gonna call him Craptor, cuz he craps so much. Wait a minute! Craptor’s not moving! What’s wrong boy? OH NO! CRAPTOR NO!

*Tears* He was so young. Fresh out of the dirt. *Sniff* Oh well. I guess he can just be buried where he’s at. Jk everybody. It’s just an awesome Raptor Skeleton Garden Sculpture. Craptor was never alive. Except in our hearts. He will always be in our hearts.

Altered Alien Figurines

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Altered Alien Figurines
We’ve featured FindersCreepers work before. She likes to do naughty things to vintage figurines. The truth is out there and now it is on your knick-Knack shelf. At least until some Man In Black comes and steals it, tells you you never saw it, it was never there, you were mistaken, there is no such thing as Altered Alien Figurines. Screw you MIB. I know what I saw! Great, now there’s an empty spot on my shelf where there’s no dust. Also that MIB left his dark glasses. Let’s check them out.

*Puts glasses on. Sees the words CONSUME, OBEY and SLEEP all over the place.* Pfft! Tell me something I don’t know. *Tosses glasses.*
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