When you take a Brawny sized dump, you need a Brawny sized roll of Toilet Paper. Or to quote Fat Bastard himself, “I’m not kiddin’. I’ve got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it’s SQUIDGY. Christ, I’m gettin’ all emotional from it, ya know?”
A wide and very wise man. If you find yourself in the stall next to his foul stench, don’t even ask, because he doesn’t have an 11 inch square to spare.
How about that? It turns out that Soylent Green really is made out of people. Bulbous-nosed green people, who come four in a pack. Click through for more images and a bonus video of Charlton Heston warning us about this popular snack.
Read more “Soylent Green Snack Pack: It Really Is Made Out Of People”
Check out these brain pot holders. Now you can pretend you are a mad scientist every time you open the oven. They are just $18. from Etsy seller HauteMessThreads.
Be a brainiac in the kitchen with these handy mittens. Hey that rhymes. I had to really brainstorm to write this article. The whole thing was a hair-brained scheme. By now you want to punch me in the brain. Really brain me hard. Okay, I’m done. As in officially brain dead. NOW I’m done. What was I doing? Brain fart! Ha. Done.
Nah. No news to report. I just like to make a big deal of things when I see a crazy-weird and creepy little Avatar baby, who looks like he will grow up to rip the flesh off my nerdy skeletal frame. It is a reborn doll, meaning that an artist created it to look scary real and keep me awake at night. He’s available on Etsy for $145. from lunatoonyweeones. Click through for more images of the artist’s mad scientist-type creations.
Ahhh. Isn’t he cute? Who’s the cute little baby Na’vi? Who’s the cutest wittle Na’vi? I got your nose. Got your nose. HOLY EFFIN JAMES T. KIRK CAMERON, HE BIT MY THUMB OFF! SOMEBODY GET HIM TO BURP IT UP! I AM SO RAPING YOUR PLANET FOR RESOURCES!
Read more “Avatar Sequel Details Leak: It’s All About Avatar Babies!”
Need to up your wardrobe? Just put a bird on it. It’s like a chestbursting alien, only it’s a dead bird’s head. And there is no blood.
Just affix this $95 bird head to your shirt and you are now a cuckoo clock. Maybe you can rig it to pop out on the hour. I hope you and your fine feathered friend have lots of adventures together. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.
Click through for more bird-on-man images.
Read more “Turn Any Hipster Into A Cuckoo Clock With This Bird Head Brooch”