Tag: candle

Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder

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Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder
This Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder is a really bright idea. No wonder the light bulb above his head is lighting up. It takes brains to come up with an idea like this and this guy has brains. I know because they;re exposed and a candlestick just happens to be shoved in there. This is an awesome and creepy electric candle. The very definition of interior frighting. I know because I looked it up in my 53rd edition Cobwebs and Creepery dictionary. It had a picture of this thing.

I bet those brains look great by candlelight. Someone said the same thing about me once, but that was a zombie who was trying to invite me to dinner.
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Horror Book Themed Candles

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Horror Book Themed Candles
It’s been awhile since I sat down with a good book. You know why? Because books aren’t very good at conversation. Also, because books don’t have the internet with built in naughty websites. Books also don’t feed me. There’s actually a lot of reasons now that I think about it. At least now I can enjoy some good books with my candles thanks to these Horror Book Themed Candles.

These decorative candles from FirstEditionCandleCo have a little book attached and you can even use them as bookmarks. They will make your place look all creepy-like. Gotta say though, these are not that original. I created these back in the great fire of 1996 when I last read a book by candle light. The fireman gave me the candle covered book as a souvenir along with a slap to the back of the head.
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Hatching Dinosaur Candle

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Hatching Dinosaur Candle
This Hatching Dinosaur Candle is adorable. Things hatching from eggs are always cute. Except cockroaches. F them! Seriously. Look at that little guy just breaking free from his egg. Is that a T-Rex? Cuz he totally T-Wrecked that egg! Sorry about that bad joke. I wasn’t gonna type it, but it was a Jurassic lark.

Anyway, candles that are also dinosaurs hatching? Dreams do come true peeps. This is the whole life cycle in one candle right here. Egg, lit candle, dinosaur lives for awhile, then dinosaur is engulfed in flame and melts. Life and death. It really makes ya think about how precious life is. How fleeting. We should all be kind to-

*Ding*

Pop Tarts are ready! Woo-Hooo. Later peeps.

Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle

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Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle
Pull my finger. *sharts* Be right back. I have to go clean up. You shouldn’t have pulled it that hard. What are you nuts? This is why I need a Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle. That way, I can get all of the smell of this joke, without all the mess of sharting myself like a volcano.

This fart scented candle is so realistic, once you light it, you’ll want to light another match! It says it burns for 40 hours, just like your butt would if you laid this much stink yourself. Mmmmmmm. Smells like home. *Passes out.*

Krampus Effigy Candle

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Krampus Effigy Candle

Check out this Krampus Effigy Candle. Or maybe it’s Gene Simmons. Now I’m not sure. Just like his head and set the mood. Whether it’s a romantic dinner you want or a soak in the tub, Krampus will be there. With his head on fire. And strangely, he’s not running around looking for a bucket of water to put it out.

I like Krampus. Gonna write a comedy screenplay. Here’s my pitch: It’s called Krampus on Campus. It’s a coming of age story about Krampus attending college. He parties, he lives, he love, he learns… It’s a heartwarming tale of a creature with a dream.