Tag: etsy

Fruit Bat Wine Accessories

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Fruit Bat Wine AccessoriesBats in your belfry? That’s cool. Me too. I also keep my wine in there, so these Fruit Bat wine accessories are perfect. Good butler! Fetch me some wine and a fruit bat to open it with! These bar accessories would be awesome in Bruce Waynes Batcave or even in a haunted house. They come in a coffin box. Just $75 from Etsy seller Dellamorteco.

I used to have a pet fruit bat, but he died from the lack of fruit in the house. Apparently, fruit roll ups and starbursts don’t count. You live, you learn. Well, I live, I learn. Him not so much.
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Have A Pixie Infestation? Get A Pixie Trap

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pixie trapYeah I know. Pixies are so beautiful. They just flutter around, spewing glitter from their wings, granting virgins free wishes and making flowers glow in vibrant colors with their passing. I’ve seen the propaganda. The truth is that Pixies are pests. And pests need to be eliminated. With extreme prejudice. That’s what Pixie traps are for.

Sadly, this humorous piece from Etsy seller BlueMaiya is no longer avilable, but if you ask nicely maybe she will make you one. It was inspired by Brian Froud’s pressed fairies.

Donut Holes With Faces Salt and Pepper Shakers

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donut hole peepsThese ugly and creeptastic salt and pepper shakers look scared as s**t. They should be, since they look like powdered sugar and cinnamon donut hole people. Otherwise known as munchkins in Dunkin Donut land. I’ll down a whole box of these, faces or not.

When they see me coming through the doors of donut heaven and walking up to the counter, they know what I want. They just hand me my box o’ munchkins. The box doesn’t even have a handle, because they know I’ll down ’em before she can even ask if I want a coffee, which I don’t. DD coffee gives you mud butt. Everyone knows that.

The point is, I’m really hungry now and your sweet sugary faces ain’t gonna stop me. But yeah, as salt and pepper shakers, these are real f***ing ugly.
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These Skull Purses Are A Real No-Brainer

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cool skull purseEtsy seller PoisonedStudios makes all kinds of cool skull purses that are frightening and fashionable, if you don’t mind carrying a cranium around with you. The Steampunk Skull shown above is $500.

They look like they could have been created from actual skulls, but they aren’t. Right? I mean, serial killers aren’t allowed to sell their crafts on Etsy. Right? Yeah, they are just really good artists. I kid. I kid. No need to hunt me down and make my brain pan hold your Maybeline and some travel tissues. Sorry. Only a numbskull would say that.

Click through to see some of their other cool skull purses.
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Cthulhus in Love

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Cthulhus in LoveAt night I askkkkkkkkk the starssssss up aboveeeeee…Why must I be a Cthulhu in loveeeeeeeeeeee? That was such a sweet song. Too bad anyone who knows it is limping around with a cane right now and bitching about their hip. I only know it because I know the language of love. I’m a real Casanova.

More like Casa”NO”va.

Who said that?

Me. Your long lost Cthulhu-mate. We are Cthulhus in love.

At last I’ve found you. *tears* You were always the only one who never went insane around me. I- I love you. Does this mean that you will finally show yourself and be more than just a voice in my head?

…hello?

…Is it me you’re looking for?
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