It’s never too early to get your kid into art. You might as well start when they are in the womb, by painting weird and creepy scenes on that baby bump. That kid isn’t doing anything now aside from hurting your back and robbing you of precious minerals. Might as well make a weird statement on that belly, so you can embarrass them with pictures later in life. You can find the Belly painting kit here.
Read more “Create a Womb With A View: Pregnancy Belly Painting Kit”
Tag: gag gift
Your Wipe Zone Is Now Clearly Defined: The Butt Face Towel
We’ve all been there. You get out of the shower and you wipe your face on your towel and for some reason it smells like butt. Eh, probably nothing. Just keep wiping. A few hours go by and you find a small constellation of hemorrhoids forming on your lower lip. Now you got butt-crud all over your face. All because someone else used your towel as dental floss for their crack.
The Butt Face towel will solve this problem. It has a clearly defined butt zone and a clearly defined face zone. Keep that butt-funk where it belongs. Only $13.27 from Amazon. Get some Butt Face soap too.
Dead Irish Leprechaun With Throne And Gold
Pissed that you never found a pot of gold from a Leprechaun under a rainbow? I hear ya. I’m pretty pissed about that myself. I chased rainbows for a whole summer once, driving a Ford Pinto, hanging a super soaker out the window, trying to create rainbows on the open highway. No dice. Leprechauns are the tight-fisted cheapskates of the mythical world.
Now we can have our revenge. This little greedy O’Grady, Paddy McDuff or whatever his name was, didn’t have the luck of Irish, to which I can only say HAHA, Nelson from the Simpsons style.
Now you can display his gold lovin’ corpse in your home. He’s just $47. from Etsy seller footstepsinthewind. He has a little gold chain that no one has been able to pry from his dead fingers, his throne and a small gold piece. So, I’m calling him….Paddy O’Furniture.
Read more “Dead Irish Leprechaun With Throne And Gold”
Taxidermy Duckling Taking A Dump: Has A Serious Case Of Diorama
It’s ducky dump time for this little bird making turds. He’s clearly been there for a while. He hasn’t even opened that roll of toilet paper and he has all kinds of reading material and a mug. Not enough roughage. This $50 display even has an articulated head and feet.
I can relate. Finally put some IKEA bookshelves in the bathroom today. Also, a hot plate and a laptop stand. Looks like I’m gonna be here for awhile.
Read more “Taxidermy Duckling Taking A Dump: Has A Serious Case Of Diorama”
Ewwwwwww! Hairy Soap
Just try and get clean using these bars of hairy soap. It’s always nasty to reach for the soap and find somebody else’s pubes. Just imagine reaching for this soap and finding out that Chewbacca has already been there first, washed his junk and then cleaned his crack real good. Nasty.
Read more “Ewwwwwww! Hairy Soap”