Tag: geek

Hatching Dinosaur Candle

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Hatching Dinosaur Candle
This Hatching Dinosaur Candle is adorable. Things hatching from eggs are always cute. Except cockroaches. F them! Seriously. Look at that little guy just breaking free from his egg. Is that a T-Rex? Cuz he totally T-Wrecked that egg! Sorry about that bad joke. I wasn’t gonna type it, but it was a Jurassic lark.

Anyway, candles that are also dinosaurs hatching? Dreams do come true peeps. This is the whole life cycle in one candle right here. Egg, lit candle, dinosaur lives for awhile, then dinosaur is engulfed in flame and melts. Life and death. It really makes ya think about how precious life is. How fleeting. We should all be kind to-

*Ding*

Pop Tarts are ready! Woo-Hooo. Later peeps.

Fake Pokemon Aquariums

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Fake Pokemon Aquariums
Gotta catch ’em all. And put ’em in your aquarium! Check out these fake Pokemon Aquariums. Pokemon trainers are some sick bast**ds! They won’t stop until the entire population has been decimated. That’s why it’s up to you to be eco-friendly and stuff and collect these fake aquariums. Let the real ones run free.

Except for Squirtle. You should hunt that little *^#%$*#@ down and unload two barrels full of buckshot up his shell. Squirtle and I have unfinished business when I meet him in the wild. Let’s just say they don’t call him Squirtle for nothin’ and I don’t keep the pool covered at night. Unless that was my neighbor. *Thinks…* Nah. It’s much more likely to be Squirtle.
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Awesome Flying Saucer With Alien Figures

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Awesome Flying Saucer With Alien Figures
This Flying Saucer With Alien Figures reminds me of the time I ran into some aliens. Last week.

Take us to your leader Earthling.

No, you take me to your leader!

But we are guests on your planet.

Leader. Now. I don’t deal with minions.

Our leader is not here. We left him at home. We come bearing gifts, like the cure for cancer, the answer to world peace and the secret for a neverending gobstopper. Fine.

*Grabs a stick and uses it as a cane while I lead them to my house.* Yoda. You seek Yoga.

They soon found out that I wasn’t Yoda, leader of Earth. But it was too late. They are locked in my garage giving me all of their technology and training to be Jedi. I better take a bath because I’m about to be filthy rich.

Custom Notebook Panties

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Custom Notebook Panties
These Custom Notebook Panties can be customized with any message you want. They make your lower area look like notebook paper.

I got a pair of these for myself recently, so I can write the great american novel and display it on my backside. Only tweet sized. Problem is I have writers block so I had to order several pairs.

It was a dark and stormy night… Ugh! Crumbles panties up and throws them in the trash can. Then remembers they are panties and retrieves them to throw in the hamper. Loads up another pair in my old-timey typewriter.*

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Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf

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Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf
Kraken of the Sea. Isn’t that what happens when the can says Chicken of the Sea, but when you open it, tentacles flail out, getting all in your nostrils and stuff? Happened to me once. Tickled.

This Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf is a hoodie and a scarf in one. It’s being modeled by a lovely redhead who was just a mermaid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The right place would have been my place. The right time? 9 o’clock. Before you come over, slip into something a little more casual. I already have tentacles that will be all over you. *Raises eyebrows up and down.*
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