Tag: gross

Monster Pencil Holders

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monster pen holder
These pencil holders from Morgan’s Mutations will make your desk a terrifying place. But at least your pencils will be organized and stabbed into the heads of these grotesque monstrosities. The ones with the long tongues are especially scary. Get your number 2 pencils and your nightmares ready!

Use it to hold pencils, pens, anything that needs tidying up on your desk. It will also store and feed off of your fear, but I think that’s pretty obvious. These are great if you have a pen thief in the office. They won’t have the guts to reach for one now. You might even put a fake bitten off finger in there as a warning.
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Garbage Pail KidsTrading Card Notebooks

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garbage pail kids
Garbage Pail Kids. They’re all kinds of gross, but you can’t help but love these little freaks. So what else can you do with those cards besides collect ’em, put ’em in the spokes of your bike and stick ’em all over your parent’s expensive stuff? You can make notebooks out of ’em. And that’s just what Etsy seller ESNotebooks did. Pretty cool. The seller has several to choose from.

Garbage Pail Kids! Puhhhleaseeee! I was a dumpster baby before it was cool. In fact, I can’t get anywhere near a dumpster without wanting to jump in and nest. And suckle on mother’s sweet and possibly radioactive trash juices. Hey, the corners of Hefty bags make for some good sucking. No worries. I grew up nice and strong….smelling.
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Puking Dog Toothpaste Dispenser

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dog puke toothpaste
Dog puke. What can you do? At least they don’t sit there and retch all day like cats. They get it over with quick cause they have stuff to do. Thanks to this puking dog toothpaste cap, you can combine all the awesomeness of a puking dog with brushing your teeth. And your mouth won’t even smell like dog puke afterward.

He is an amazing dog that pukes sparkly and white magic all over your toothbrush. Ha! Harry Potter had a lame owl, but I got this. Suck it Harry Potter! My magic is better then yours. What? Sure I’ll have a jelly bean. Ew, that’s nasty! That was booger flavored. I hate you Harry! I hate you! *breaks down and cries like a baby* Have to go. It’s nappy time and I’m grumpy.

Garbage Patch Runts: Custom Garbage Pail Kids Made From Cabbage Patch Dolls

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Garbage Pail kids dollsMichelle Martin is a brilliant lady. She takes Cabbage Patch Kids, which are already disturbing, and turns them into Garbage Pail Kids, which are even more disturbing. If you want to buy one you can check out the link above. Yeah, these are not your mother’s Cabbage Patch Kids that she beat other adults over the head for and served time for back in the day. Crazy times.

Beating yourself senseless over a doll is not a good idea. Unless it’s a love doll and you are just trying to get one out real quick while you’re alone. But I digress. These monstrosities don’t come with smiles and sweet little adoption papers. These Garbage Pail Kids only come with two things. Crazy mutations and (I’m guessing) a lot of emotional baggage.
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Stitched Skin Chest

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skin chest
Take that! Suck it you giant Troll. Guys I beat the boss! I’m gonna open the chest. Ewww. Wait! I’m not opening that. It’s looking at me from like every side. This thing is like a Beverly Hills housewife. You need a scalpel to open it up and get the money out! Only this thing ain’t gonna look any better after.

You can’t even try to pick the lock because the damn teeth will snap at you. Oh well, no skin off my chest. Seriously, stop looking at me. What did I say to have you in stitches anyway? You can keep all of your gold and sweet dungeon loot. We’re off to another dungeon. You might want to see a dermatologist pal.
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