Holy Jesus! Now I know why everyone is so scared of the bogeyman. He really is full of boogers. Nasty, slimy egg boogers. This Bogeyman Egg Separator will make you want to skip breakfast all together. He looks like an old man with a severe case of the flu. No really. Like he has a whole briefcase marked “flu” on the outside, where he keeps his ebola.
That’s not a one tissue drip. That’s a go through the whole kleenex box and spray some lysol up your honker drip. You nasty old man!
Damn that’s nasty! Don’t have a mummified corpse to put in your yard so that birds and squirrels can feed from it’s dead body? No problem. Etsy seller AutumnsOddities has you covered. Your yard animals will love this Mummified Baby Bird Feeder.
Basically it makes it look like you left your kid permanently unattended in your yard until little Bobby or Susie has become squirrel food. Just fill it up with bird seed and then watch nature do it’s nasty thing. Just remember, they’ll be pecking at you next while you try to sip some lemonade in the backyard.
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Take that! Suck it you giant Troll. Guys I beat the boss! I’m gonna open the chest. Ewww. Wait! I’m not opening that. It’s looking at me from like every side. This thing is like a Beverly Hills housewife. You need a scalpel to open it up and get the money out! Only this thing ain’t gonna look any better after.
You can’t even try to pick the lock because the damn teeth will snap at you. Oh well, no skin off my chest. Seriously, stop looking at me. What did I say to have you in stitches anyway? You can keep all of your gold and sweet dungeon loot. We’re off to another dungeon. You might want to see a dermatologist pal.
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Stop fearing the latest stuff “they” want you to fear and just embrace it. Put some Ebola in your kitchen to keep all of your E-Coli company with this Ebola Epidemic Cutting Board.
Chop, chop, chop those vegetables on this cutting board that has Ebola, Salmonella, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Meningitis and more. Now you can tell your hypochondriac friends that everything was prepared on a cutting board riddled with bacteria and viruses. Then watch them scream and run out.
Hey, serial killers have to cook too. And nobody likes to stain their clothes. I’m not sure how many people had to die to make this flesh apron, but judging by the amount of eye-holes that I see, there are at least 7 extra people invited to dinner.
I hear ya. It needs an accessory just as fleshy. To flesh it out. You’re thinking, “It’s cool and all, but this outfit needs more skin in the game if I’m gonna buy it”. Well, you can also get a matching Flesh Purse. Now you are all set to host a dinner that your guests will never forget…And never leave.
Yeah, this is from the same Etsy seller that gave us the People Pot Pie, so we already know what’s on the menu.
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