If you want to see what your pet looks like on the inside, commission one of these Custom Pet Skull Portraits. Or you could do like I did and get an X-ray of your pet, spend like two hours collaging the X-ray and the picture together with staples, glue, moist tic-tacs, duct tape and thumb tacks. Do not recommend. Unless you want your animal looking like a reanimated mutant freak.
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Tag: novelty
Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure
Wahhhh wahhhhh! Baby Cthulhu‘s crying is driving me insane! I think he needs his diaper changed. I thought you were supposed to be an elder god, not an infant crybaby. Maybe you’re an elder tot. I have no idea. All I know is, I ain’t changing that diaper. Smells like you just took a radioactive dump. No wonder you glow in the dark.
I heard they picked you up from day care early the other day cuz you Chernobyl-ed the place with a flaming log. Ground zero is your britches man! Are your parents getting home soon? Cuz I have an appointment to go babysit baby Frankenstein at nine. His parents are going to the opera. Then I have to swing by a 1/4 Werewolf kids house and watch him while his parents go crazy on the full moon tonight. This whole monster babysitting gig is not nearly as cool as I thought it would be. Okay fine, I’ll remove the diaper and dip you in the toilet with a pair of tongs, and flush a couple of times, but I ain’t cleaning you. God, that’s foul! Cool your tentacles while I get my hazmat suit. Your folks are paying extra next time.
Teeth Leggings – Your Roots Are Showing!
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Why not wear your teeth on your legs? The teeth on these teeth leggings have some pretty long and dingily-dangily roots. It’s okay, I can say dingily-dangily, cuz we all have one. Well, some of us have ’em. Dangle ’em if ya got ’em boys!
Anyway, ya got nice knee teeth babe, but those roots look like they go straight down to your ankles. And that isn’t a bad thing. *Works eyebrows up and down all Groucho Marx like.* We should get together. Get back to me next week after you molar it over. *Works my cigar with my eyebrows.* I’ll take you to dinner. Would you prefer that I put you under first, so it isn’t painful? Zing and I’m outta here.
And remember, if it wasn’t for the laughing gas, we’d both be crying.
Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper
This Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper will keep your beverages fresh. Fresh and creepy. Bottle stopper? A heart stopper, that’s what he is. Look at how cute he is. He’s got a nice set of choppers on him too, for a dead guy. Can you put him on a wine bottle? Of corpse you can. What about a soda bottle? Yep! No bones about it. Need to keep your drink from going flat? Just pop old bone-face here on your bottle and if you’re drunk enough he may even have a conversation with you. He’s pretty foul-mouthed though, so be careful.
Bronze Slug Rings
Bronze Slug Rings baby! Slugs slithering all in between your fingers that you can use for brass knuckles should some dude mess with you in a dark alley somewhere. What? You want slugs to the face bro? BAM. SLUGGO! These slugs will never let you down. Unless somebody throws salt all over your hands.
This ring is sweet. I just wish I had known about this before I made my slug ring the old fashioned way. By shoving both hands in the garden and pulling ’em back up with nasty gooey slugs between my fingers.
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