These Men’s Zombie Vs. Werewolf Socks are awesome. And my tootsies haven’t had a monster death match in a long time. Now fight!
Who will win? I’m putting my money on the Werewolf because that Zombie looks like he’s almost passed out from that guy’s foot stink. Who am I kidding? Everybody wins with monster socks. I’m gonna just lay around and make them fight all day. Look out! The Werewolf has a knife! Ha. I knew that long toenail would come in handy. Finish him!
Why go through the trouble of shopping for an actual Christmas sweater when you can buy this one? Besides, who wants a festive Christmas sweater full of reindeer and trees and Santas, when you can have one that makes you look like a fat hairy guy who just woke up from a weekend bender and has to get to their Santa job at the mall? It even has a bit of mistletoe above the belt buckle area.
Read more “Men’s Hairy Belly Ugly Christmas Sweater T-Shirt”
Garbage Pantz are plastic covers that you can put on your outdoor trash can, so that it looks like it’s wearing pants. Sadly, it looks exactly like some of the bin buckets I see walking around Walmart. In fact, you may be walking down the street one day and mistake this for one of your large buddies.
I thought I saw Mike today. Really? That’s cool. Well, I drove by real fast, but I’m sure it’s him. He just seemed to be standing there in the same spot, when I passed again. That doesn’t sound like Mike. We better get in the car and make sure he’s okay.
Fifteen minutes later…
Is that him? I can’t tell. Looks like his big butt. Those thighs are all him too. Nobody wears husky like him. I’m going across the street for a better look.
No. Wasn’t him. Just some weird garbage can with jeans on it.
Wait look! There he is at the McDonald’s across the street, force feeding two big macs in his mouth with a fistful of fries. Thank God he’s alright. He’s lucky to have friends like us.
Damn! I had no idea that the next Mad Max was being filmed in the swamp. Calling it now! Gatordome! Two gators enter, one gator leaves. And there’s a tailgater outside. Seriously that’s a croc.
I’ll tell ya what’s not a croc. This veil. This Gator veil can be worn to swampland funerals and Bayou barbecues, but don’t wear it to Louisiana lunches, cause Louisiana lunches only have one thing they’re serving up. That’d be you gator-bait!
Later alligators, after while Tetris tile.
Read more “Gator Veil: Worn On The Bayou, Lord, Lord”
I’m gonna get me this UFO and Alien Head jacket so that the next time E.T. lands, I get to be ambassador for the entire human race. They won’t even question it. The jacket says that I am that guy! Once we have some negotiations and I get set up with my own small island, I will be the one to decide who gets probed and who doesn’t!
Everybody who picked on me in high school better look the f**k out! Those guys that made fun of me at the comic shop last week too. 1)That issue of My Little Pony IS canon and 2)It’s not just for girls and 3)You have missing time and are butt-sore.
Read more “UFO Alien Bolero Jacket”