Tag: etsy

Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection

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Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection
You need to get your mad scientist lab in order. I’m not saying it isn’t up to code or anything. It’s just that you could use more cool stuff and you want your experiments to get super freaky and wild. Like this Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection. It’s got everything an up and coming insane person could want to re-animate stuff, create mutants, turn your poop rainbow colored etc.

You get a customized jar with a hand sculpted human heart, a jar with a hand sculpted human liver(Goes nice with a bottle of Chianti and some fava beans), an antique style medical battery, a jar of human cadaver eyeballs, a flask on a metal base for blood storage and an antique style medical pump that works. Hot damn. I’m gonna finally create life. And not cuz I got a girl pregnant. *Screams* It’s alive! It’s alive! *Squish* It was a cockroach. I killed it. All good now. Man, I hate those things. What do you have to do to get rid of them? Actually clean your house?
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Just Your Everyday Illuminati / Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp

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Just Your Everyday Illuminati Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp
Looky here. An Illuminati Teddy Bear Lamp. Also claims to be black magic. They also had Voodoo in their title. I’m surprised they didn’t mention Santeria. I had that once. I’m pretty sure it means having the runs during Christmas. Seriously though, this thing has some bad juju. I think they confused illuminati with illumination. Obvious mistake. Now ya got some half crazed devil teddy bear with a lamp on his head making you worship some freaky deity every night.

Hey, I don’t judge. You wanna have a scare-bear go for it. You won’t find this thing on my night stand. Don’t mess with the illuminati. Period. End of story, That’s all she wrote. Because a demon bear attacked her. Illuminati. As in Illumi-NOT-I. Ain’t gonna have it.

Click through for an image of a half crazed feline under it’s spell.
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Sterling Silver Bat Skeleton Necklace

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Sterling Silver Bat Skeleton Necklace
There’s something on me. Get it off! Get it off! What is it? Oh it’s cute. In the way all things are cute after it’s flesh has vaporized. Look at this Sterling Silver Bat Skeleton Necklace. It’s adorable. Look at him feeding from that woman’s neck. He ain’t gonna stop until she’s completely dry. He’s a little Vampire bat. Who’s the cute wittle vampire wampire bat? He just wants to hug. Hug and suck the life force out of you.
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Victorian Eye Rings

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Victorian Eye Rings
Victorian Eye Rings. No, not rings for your eye. I don’t even know how that would work. No, I mean rings that are eyes. These are super awesome too because you can be all like, “Give me a knuckle sandwich will ya? I’m gonna give you 5 eyes to the face sucka!” Cuz I would have one on each finger. I’d run my tongue across all of them before I punched the dude too, cuz you have to lay on the creepy and psych him out.

Hey, what’s with that third eye in the pic? Is it okay? Looks like it has glaucoma. Looks like we have a Third Eye Blind concert. You walked right into that one. Not really, I kinda put you on a conveyor belt and waited patiently. Who says we can’t all see eye to eye? Put on your eye rings and give me a fist bump.

Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals

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Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals
MetalSomeArt sells some awesome leather bound journals. Heh. Leather bound. Sounds kinky. 50 Shades of Paper. Get it? Anyway, they have many cool journals to choose from. Cthulhu, Tarot Cards, all kinds of cool stuff. They have awesome brass plates in front. That’s what makes ’em look so fancy. So shiny. I’m gonna get one so I can write down my deepest innermost thoughts.

*Opens journal. Starts to write.* Hmmm. Nothing’s coming to me. Damn writer’s block. I hate that. Why you blockin’ me bro? What do you have against writers and why are you invisible? Silence huh? Well, nobody blocks me you blockhead. I’ll just journal about you.

Dear Diary. Today writer’s block tried to block me from your crisp white pages. But I don’t let bullies win. He’s a poopy pants which is why this entry sounds like a 2 year old rather than being in my usual 4 year old style. I hate that guy. Always blocking. Always lurking. P.S. I like your brass plate on your cover. So shiny and pretty. I like to touch it. Will you be my girlfriend? K bye.
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