Need a cool hat that has style? Don’t get your panties in a bunch, but do get your tentacles in a bunch with the Octo-Hat. It will give you gorgeous long tentacle locks that you will want to curl and tease. The tentacles double a scarf. I wonder if the tentacles have suckers, cuz I don’t want no octo-hickeys on my neck. Am I the only one who finds the eyes on this thing super grumpy?
Don’t be an Octo-puss. Get an Octo-Hat.
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Live it up with this Leather Coffin Journal. Well, maybe not live it up. Maybe dwell on our impending deaths as we shuffle off this immortal coil. Wow, that even depressed me. Also impressed me cuz it sounded cool. Probably sounded cool as hell to everyone who didn’t see me choke on that lemon starburst and throw myself against the chair to give my self the old Heimlich maneuver.
Anywho, how do you put a bunch of dead bodies in one coffin? This journal is how. It is perfect for drawing a corpse on every page. That way you have a flip book of dead bodies all sharing one coffin. Maybe make it so it decomposes by the end.
Therefore perfect for undertakers and such. If anyone else does it it’s just weird. Yeah, I know it was my idea. Everyone knows I’m weird.
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Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads. But that’s just cuz I like to drive on the dirt side of the road. I think of myself as a ditch finder. I hit it so you don’t have to. I do it for the community. In fact, the local cops used to call me the Deuce of Hazard cuz it never looks cool and is always lame. When I found out what that meant, I laughed. Then cried. I’ll show them all when I buy one of Harveygallery’s time machines.
First I’m going back to 1984 when I was 4 pants sizes smaller. Gonna warn myself about the dangers of overeating so it changes the “Now Me” into a thin dude. Then the “Now Me” is gonna pig out and I won’t gain any weight cuz that 1984 sucker did all the work already. I’m gonna chill and enjoy being one of the “not fat” people for awhile, then zip off to the future where I find “Jabba the me” has finally porked out. Then I’m just gonna give up and we can pig out together and shoot the crap. Time machines are sweet!
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I don’t know about you, but every Halloween I like to get the old Playmobil Haunted Halloween Victorian Mansion out and have a spooky time. Then I tell ghost stories to myself until I get so scared I have to turn every light in the house on. *Checks mail* An electric bill of $550 this month? Not bad. Not bad at all.
Cheaper than last month when I watched all those X-Files episodes. Of course that wasn’t just the lights being left on. You have to factor in for all that extra laundry in the washer from wetting the bed. Honestly, someone should just call Adult Protective Services and take me away from myself.
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This monster dishware from wigoutgraphics is pretty cool. You can serve up monster themed food on them (I’m assuming) like The Creature from the Black Legumes, Frankenstein Franks, even Wolfman Waffles. It’s always a party when you have monster dishware. A monster mash! C’mon you knew that was coming. Oh, that’s awesome. Monster Mashed potatoes!
